Mood Lighting for Life’s Pivotal Moments by Madeline Goetz, McKayley Gourley and Ngoc Bui|January 3, 2024
We’re Your Caramels from Three Christmases Ago, and It’s Very Unclear If We’re Still Good by Anthony Scibelli|December 28, 2023
Explaining the Reasons for the 1-Star (Out of 5 Stars) Rating I Gave a Book on Amazon by Radu Guiasu|December 27, 2023
I, Bagpipes, Am Also Confused as to Why I’m Part of This Christmas Parade by Jason Garramone|December 25, 2023
You Need to Stop Cockblocking Me, the Romantic Lead of This Hallmark Holiday Movie by Erin Ross|December 19, 2023
Tips for Enjoying Our Holiday Market While You Wait in Line to Get In by Viktoria Shulevich|December 18, 2023
As the Man Who Cooked This Hanukkah Dinner, I’m Best Suited to Deal with This Salmonella Outbreak by Michael Lieberman|December 7, 2023
Please Listen Carefully as Our Menu Options Have Changed, and Also I Have This New Screenplay Idea by Rachel Keller|December 6, 2023
My Life Is in Shambles but at Least I’m the Star of Four Different Reality Shows by Cameron Bradford|December 5, 2023
Reasons I Will Not Be Posting My Spotify Wrapped That Emphatically Have Nothing to Do with How Humiliating My Results Are by Simon Henriques|December 4, 2023
To Whomever Stole My 2007 Volvo XC70: You Have Made a Terrible Mistake by Harry Saroff|December 2, 2023
Real Amazon Reviews for Decorative Fall Leaf Garland, or Family Gossip About My Bold New Hairstyle? by Madie Dhaliwal|November 29, 2023
Welcome to My Sex Dungeon, Where Anything Up To and Including a Handjob Goes by Ryan Ciecwisz|November 29, 2023
I Appoint You, Nephew Bryce, as Successor in Our Family’s Line of Crazy Uncles by Jared Flood|November 23, 2023
I’m a Gourmet Pepper Mill Who Doesn’t Belong at This Thanksgiving Dinner by David Henne|November 22, 2023
The Only Thanksgiving Topic We Can’t Discuss: The Cornucopia Grapes by Jeremy Hooper|November 21, 2023
Look, We Need to Extend Your Appointment Window Again by Jeff Bender and Grace Fetterman|November 16, 2023
Six Seduction Tips So Saucy They’ll Convince Your Husband to Murder the King of Scotland by Sara Nicole|November 15, 2023
Uncle Steve’s Offensive Driving Course for Young Drivers: A Syllabus by Tatiana Tomley|November 10, 2023
I’m Only on This Dating App Ironically, Unless You’re Interested in Falling in Love or Something by Peter Clark-Deutsch|November 9, 2023
What You (a Humble, Highly-Skilled Nepalese Sherpa) Can Learn from Me (a Rich, Inexperienced Western Thrill-Seeker) About Climbing Mount Everest by Doug Kolic|November 8, 2023
I’d Like to Have Kids, but I’m Not Sure It’s Ethical to Bring Children into a World Where Their Dad Would Be Me by Simon Henriques|November 6, 2023
This Halftime Locker Room Speech Seems as Good a Time as Any to Confess to My Killing Spree by Josh Long|November 4, 2023
It Helps to Think of Europe as a Powder Keg, a Thing We Can All Picture by Troy Doetch|November 3, 2023
The Ultimate Best Toastiest Toast Recipe of ALL Time, Seriously, by à la Katie by Mark Carlson|November 1, 2023
Back, Demon! Your Name Gives Me Dominion Over You– Uh, As Soon As I Remember It by Mike Langley|October 31, 2023
Are You Starring in a Horror Movie or Sharing a House with Small Children? by Mary Flannery|October 30, 2023
8-Year-Old Going Trick or Treating, or 28-Year-Old Looking for a Good Paying Job? by Justin Avery Smith|October 27, 2023
I’m the Adult in This Horror Movie and You Kids Better Not Be Doing Anything Supernatural in There by Scarlet Meyer|October 25, 2023
Seven Things That Seem Spooky but Are Completely Normal Parts of Staying at a Cabin in Fall by Sarah Gardner|October 24, 2023
You Ain’t from ‘Round These Parts, Are You? Best Subscribe to My Newsletter, Pard by R.J. Kushner|October 23, 2023
As a Medieval Monk, I Am Tired of Being Asked to Investigate a Series of Murders by Dylan Fugel|October 20, 2023
“Friends” Episode or Me Ordering a Shitty Microbrew I Can’t Remember the Name of by Describing the Stupid Label? by Berkley Johnson|October 16, 2023
I’m the Man Who Gets Paid to Say “Tut Tut” Every Time You Think About Sex by Lillie Franks|October 16, 2023
At Our Montessori School, We Offer Drug Culture Without the Drugs by Adam Dietz and Troy Doetch|October 14, 2023
Easy Answers to Common Job Interview Questions for Anyone Who Was Saved by a Swamp Creature When They Were Nine by Tyler Gooch|October 13, 2023
This Country Music Star Is Not Apologizing for Stealing Your Lunch from the Office Fridge by Troy Doetch|October 12, 2023
Teens Need to Put Down Their Phones and Get Hunted by Me, a Masked Killer by Lillie Franks|October 3, 2023