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Mr. Trump focused on building affordable housing, available to people of color and immigrants, whom he said “don’t get a fair shake in this country.”
Those men aren’t fighting for freedom, like us! We have uncommon courage. And it takes uncommon courage to be at Aberdeen’s right at 6.
Vibrating Bath Bomb: We are not allowed to discuss what this may be used for (we are allowed to discuss murder and drugs, but sex is off the table).
We revised the concept of “eternal damnation” and suggest referring to it as “be cool bro."
"SYLVIA PLATH // HAMLET '90s MIXTAPE": Hamlet is depressed. Hamlet is in love. Hamlet is occasionally suicidal. Basically, Hamlet is the '90s.
Colonel Mustard and Professor Plum: There never was a murder, these two just needed to get away from their bridge club to whisper sweet nothings.
Cincinnati Bearcats: You’ve watched a tournament game in a strip club. Iowa Hawkeyes: You lost money investing in Matthew Whittaker’s toilet company.
Recently my partner, a 1991 Diesel, has started abruptly switching tracks during our intimate time. What do I do?
Masters in Accounting: Think about how much fun you have filing your taxes every year and imagine getting to do that every day!
I’ve been on the lookout for the swirling cloud of evil that must constantly follow you, and I keep my nose up to catch a stench of this wickedness.