Over 15,000 funny articles by seasoned comedy writers and fresh voices. New humor articles daily. Featured | Satire | Columns | Guides | Observations | Stories | Topics | Random | Submit an Article
- I am not interested in emails such as these. - My passion for these messages has with time been exhausted. - I am interested in not receiving these emails.
“Vegan! Give us ze classified recipes and ve vill let you live!” The Vegan’s former best friend-turned-nemesis, General Draganov, shouts.
When Jason sees you wearing this in chemistry class, he’s gonna cream his jeans so hard that the frog he’s dissecting will come back to life!
It might be a good idea to post messages after each kid is picked up so that we know that the bus has not disappeared into some space/time continuum.
My life has been nothing but cutesy crime solving and I’m over it. I’d rather get spayed again than have to solve one more cozy mystery.
It is sad, yes, but he is in a better place. I am told at the farm there is a little pond with some swans in it.
John Chris: I am in my tenth year of overseeing the murder division at Clemsaw Capital. I would be happy to help current students in any way I can!
“We’re not in the boardroom anymore, eh fellas?” I said. But Ross seemed genuinely injured.
Would you mind making me a logo for my new insect-dessert business? I was going to hire someone, but they wanted to charge me a few hundred dollars.
You may have noticed by now I’ve not typed a single word in over three hours. Don’t be alarmed. It’s all part of the process.
People are buying your data. What people? Well, maybe not people in general, but definitely the hideous creature you created.
Remember how I never explicitly say that I’m gay, and instead always couch it in weird innuendos?