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As a real American bird, I’m going to get down on the ground and fight a sewer rat for half of a discarded Chalupa.
[BOOM BOOM] “U-S-A! U-S-A!” [BOOM] “Do you ever wonder what would happen if everyone got sick all at once, though? [BOOM] "What?"
Phrases evoking imagery of a well-powered cabin like, “pedal like my kitchen appliances depended on it,” could be a huge red flag.
Despite everything I do, the only thing anyone can remember is a rumor that I mistook chicken poop for Runts candy.
A millennium of mystics lives in my heart. But when you look at me, all you see is “Prince of Darkness” in Comic Sans stretched just under my chin.
I’m stuck in a dungeon with Team Crucifixion. We’re anticipating a future as a unique tourist feature along the Appian Way.
The economy took a crazy wipeout, my grandma got straight barrelled (shred in peace, G’ma) and we had to wear those goofy masks for like weeks.
The red-berry notes that also resemble a boiled mushroom in your choice Pinot are a perfect match for any outfit from this inclusive Tarjay brand.
While I could find satisfaction in work, the steps I take while pacing tearfully in the work bathroom help me add thousands of steps each week.
"Hello, this is Valedy calling. So sorry I missed the gig. I got pranked. Somebody nailed my coffin shut. By the time I got out, it was the next day."
Ever gaze over your huge pile of thousands of children's teeth and ask yourself, "How can I make this mountain of kid teeth even larger?"
If it were any other June, I too would be playing squash and basking in the sun’s rays, but this year is different.