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‘Twas something of a bloodbath, all told, but was this not what thou asked for? Well, Happy Father’s Day.
Haven't done much birdwatching lately. Birdfeeder full of bird shit. Ex-wife and Rick going strong.
Me wearing the same camouflage jacket: Constantly burdened by the anxiety of potentially running into a real veteran and having to explain myself.
Turn on a television set in a dark room, dial into a channel that only plays static, and place both your palms against the glass.
If you’re out-of-your-mind blackout wasted, prefrontal cortex operating at 0% capacity, contacting your ex is a fine way to direct your endorphins.
One credit card point can be worth 1.3 to 1.7 cents. I tried explaining this to my wife, but she was on a work call and I don’t think she really took it in.
For free shipping on those meals, send a follow-up text with promo code: YESYOUCANTRACKMYPHONE.
The equipment is hazardous and doesn’t even work. Yesterday, I pulled the power cord from Debbie’s treadmill and the thing just stopped on a dime.
A common bedroom reno tip is to take a fancy trash can—like that gaudy, twisting, fuchsia disaster that Rachel bought—and flip it upside-down.
Grab a vegan smoothie, plunge your feet into a bucket of ice, and allow yourself, like an eager guppy, to be reeled in by Tim Ferriss.
The U15-Humanoid Robot was granted independence by the Government or Earth, and the first thing it decided to do was find a human to marry.
Acadia: Remember when life felt like the boundless ocean view at sunrise from the top of Cadillac Mountain?