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Brandon must now provide me with affection and companionship under penalty of Federal prosecution.
Or you know when you have a bottle of champagne and you need to release the cork and you loosen it with your thumb? I invented that.
My parents knew they had early mornings in the factory, just working towards the American dream, but there was something special about that night.
Our relationship was mutually beneficial: I gave him a son---Yngvar---and he told me my dress wasn’t “too Coachella.”
Oh-kaay. This hurts a little. The spring-bound polypropylene surface feels more solid upon impact than I expected.
Discovering that he was born into a secret society who are defending the Earth and influencing world events may be difficult for your son to process.
Next thing you know you’ll be tangoing in the sheets yelling “HOOAH!” like the blind retired army veteran Al Pacino won the Oscar for portraying.
The couple described the aesthetic of the reception venue as farmhouse chic. Notably, the bridesmaids were dressed as mason jars.
Quarter of a Quarter Life Crisis: Age 6. You will cope by throwing tantrums before bedtime and refusing to share your trucks with Jeremy.
I hear what you’re saying: this really clashes with the overall narrative we’ve built up in the past century.