Don’t Talk to Me Until I’ve Had My Coffee!
Before coffee, I’m, like, a zombie feeding on its own, like… brains or whatever, and struggling to complete straightforward zombie analogies.
Evan Allgood has written for Daily Shouts, McSweeney's, Weekly Humorist, Slackjaw, and Little Old Lady. He studied Satire Writing at Second City and Sketch Writing at UCB.
Before coffee, I’m, like, a zombie feeding on its own, like… brains or whatever, and struggling to complete straightforward zombie analogies.
Who could possibly resist the siren song of a factory-farmed chicken breast wedged between two nondescript slices of bread? Plus a pickle?!
Missed You… Again You: A relaxing holiday. Me: Dehydrated, depleted, stuck in traffic. God, I want you so bad.
D-Mo had made a lot of gains over the past year, but he still had so many gains ahead of him. I guess that’s what makes this so difficult.