Introducing the Perfect Shoe-Sizing System
US to UK: Simply adding an extraneous "u" to your US size now gets you the perfect fit across the pond.
Comedy Writing
I’m the Inventor of Horse Idioms and You’re Misusing Every Single One
A one horse town isn’t some village out in the boonies. Do you know how many horses there are in the boonies? Tons.
The NSA’s Digital Threat Report on Me, User #119182
Instead of opening and deleting messages as he received them, User #119182 has kept every email he has received since creating his account in 2009.
Your Middle Schooler’s “Youth in Government” Field Trip Itinerary
After running out of per diem, your child will unwisely accept financial help from their Russian pen pal.
Online Sports Betting Needs to Be Tightly Regulated Right After This Eagles Game Wraps Up
See, right there, when A.J. Brown caught that deep ball! Did you feel that? That can’t be healthy.
A Recipe Blogger’s Text Responses to Incredibly Simple Questions
What time are we getting coffee later? The Arabian Peninsula has always been one of the harshest environments on Earth, and 800 A.D. was no exception.
Text STOP If Our SMS Rewards Program Is Coming On Too Strong
Text MISS YOU if you're counting down the minutes until you can hold me in your arms.
Sun Tzu Quotes to Get You Through Thanksgiving
To medal in the Turkey Trot, you have to defeat seasoned fitness freaks and erratic savages who only run once a year.
What My Next Week Would Have to Look Like for This Swiss Army Knife Purchase to Be Worth It
As the sun sets on the horizon, I use the bottle opener to crack open some ice cold beers and bond with my shipmates.
Welcome to Our Drone Light Show, Please Excuse the Behavior of Our Drones
Ok, so it looks like they’re depicting the many scourges man has brought upon this Earth.
It Would Be Pointless to Try These Ineffective Tongue Twisters
This Café Makes All The Espresso, I Guess / Sacrifice Something So Grandma Can Leave
Book Jacket Testimonials or British Kennel Club Breed Standards?
Warm and wide-ranging and wise, a wonderful companion. Plenty of substance but free of clumsiness. Neither cloddy nor cobby.