Text STOP If Our SMS Rewards Program Is Coming On Too Strong
Text MISS YOU if you're counting down the minutes until you can hold me in your arms.
Jordan is a comedy writer from Michigan with work featured in McSweeney's, The Weekly Humorist, Little Old Lady Comedy and Slackjaw. He also writes and performs as a member of the sketch group, Front Seat Haircut.
Text MISS YOU if you're counting down the minutes until you can hold me in your arms.
To medal in the Turkey Trot, you have to defeat seasoned fitness freaks and erratic savages who only run once a year.
As the sun sets on the horizon, I use the bottle opener to crack open some ice cold beers and bond with my shipmates.
Ok, so it looks like they’re depicting the many scourges man has brought upon this Earth.
This Café Makes All The Espresso, I Guess / Sacrifice Something So Grandma Can Leave
Warm and wide-ranging and wise, a wonderful companion. Plenty of substance but free of clumsiness. Neither cloddy nor cobby.
And if you find any let me know. Maybe write down anything you do find and make a note of where it was. Try to be thorough though.
The most important qualities a man can have are leadership, integrity, and enough forearm strength to pull himself over an 8-foot ledge.
We regret to inform you we won't be able to offer you a position at this time. We'll always wonder what could have been.
A bank teller overeager to waive overdraft fees on my debit card in an attempt to maintain our relationship.