Short, punchy comedy for readers on the go. Submit a List
Remove gravy from its place as the creamy binder of the American Thanksgiving and you have nothing more than a gelatinous meat gloop. Pass.
Red and White – Said or did something stupid but not necessarily evil. Named their baby after their foot massager.
These FDA-Approved Fusion Flavors™? are guaranteed to provide a satisfying Juul experience that appeals exclusively to people over 40.
Your child will no longer feel any pain. In their eyes, when this hits their eyes, we mean. We make no claims on any other pain.
Forcing a dork to do all your homework for you and then not even turning it in, slowly introducing the concept of nihilism into their worldview.
I'm giving away the chance to enter a drawing for a trip for one to one of the most romantic destinations in the world: Calgary!
Admire rich white men who are landowners. / Cook porridge and flummery. / Exhort a vagabond to repentance.
Smoke salvia out of sister's vacuum cleaner. Land a kickflip in the middle of the woods with nobody around, next to a fallen tree.
Self-cleaning. Enchanted with spell that bewitches child into consuming lunch regardless of fiber content. Doubles as USCG-approved flotation device.
This is going to hell in a hand-job! / What in masturbation?! / Fallopian out loud! / No shit, short-cock.