Short, punchy comedy for readers on the go. New humor lists regularly. Quizzes | Submit a List
“Absolutely gripping—by the time you reach the end, you’ll have no doubt that the main theme in Charlotte’s Web is friendship.”
When someone mentions "that Marquette shot from '97," nod and say something noncommittal like, "Hoo yeah, that ol' can of worms!"
Anaconda on "Anaconda" (1997) Hell yeah, brother. ★★★★
Someone chokes on a finger and vomits.
Dr. Pacini’s always been good, but now he’s got the best hygienists in the business. They’re a root canal dream team.
- Repeat grades six and seven, objectively my most awkward years - Untangle holiday lights - Menstruate for an entire month
- He’s been trying out different mating calls. - You’ve caught him googling “Brown Booby,” “Great Tit,” and “Cock-of-the-Rock.”
Cain: Cain is in pain! Abel: I'm un-Abel to walk comfortably!
- Ask what the specials are, then ask what all the regular items are. - Memorize the entire menu instead.
Dorothy Hamill, for inspiring the bowl cut my mom gave me from ages 6-12.
If you woke up and your partner was an Oscar Mayer wiener, how long could your grief stop you from eating them?
- Let’s form our own special select committee - Please be my Majority Whip - We should move forward with a discharge petition