Short, punchy comedy for readers on the go. New humor lists daily. Submit a List
I acknowledge that I can change my sweatpants if I want to or I can wear the same ones every day forever and only I have the power to choose.
You have dreams of leaving your hometown for some far away place you can reinvent yourself, some wild and distant land like Minneapolis.
The party was going to have two different kinds of ice cream cake. / I had serious concerns whether Dennis Rodman was going to be a good roster fit.
After being diagnosed with arthritis, Diane made a joint resolution not to attempt any more roundhouse kicks.
Works hard but makes no money / Loves avocado and salmon breakfasts / Obsessed with filtered water / Goes on many long, sad walks
Farvardin: One who protects the good and the pure / Wendy: Says "I love you" way too frivolously
Mr. Bingley - Headed back to his parents mansion the moment shit went down. Makes parody videos in front of his pool. Tanned—like, SO tanned.
Argentina = Sayonargentina / Ireland = Expireland / Israel = Wasrael / Italy = Quitaly / Portugal = Deportugal / Qatar = Qatar Loose
I think I just saw Grandma's ghost! She’s headed towards the Applebee's down the street. I should follow her just to make sure she gets a booth.
Wanders outside during period of widespread danger to shout opinions of varying coherence at imperiled bystanders.
Re: Re: Re: Super Fun Quarantine Recipe Exchange Re: This will not work if everyone does not fwd this email to their closest 10 friends RIGHT NOW
"If your prognostication about a pending recession proves true, I have faith you’ll be among the few who can still afford bottle service."