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Last year, I met the lovely Emma outside a Concord tavern. She said she liked my tri-corner hat and asked if anything else of mine is tri-cornered.
"remember when i misread the vibe of the kickback at ur place and blacked out on a wednesday?" - nic0tin3 sad b0is
You clapped for me in music when I put all the recorders in my mouth at once. They tasted like the way a basketball smells.
You didn’t wake up to be mediocre. That’s the job of the deadbeat still sleeping in your bed.
@beyoncedad: Really @starsearch? Girls Tyme is way better than Skeleton Crew, who were just caught doing very bad things. DM me for exclusive pics.
The guy who told me he’d help me move, then stole my iconic Mallrats pin and puka shell necklace so he could more easily pretend to be me.
Doctor Zhivago vs. Babe – This talking pig is out for revenge against the Russian physicist and poet who ate his brother.
The Hollywood Reporter – Horror: To Pelt Holy Weed Washington Post – Stashing Pot Now The New Yorker – Reek, Thy Owner
Hit the link in our bio for a bunch of forms. Keep in mind they're now numbered alphabetically. Sorry about the mess, ughhh.
Everywhere you look, soulless old demons are worshipping the man in charge. And while there is food available, all of it is from Albertsons.
Elon Musk’s latest infuriating tweet is presented by 43,000 retweets to preserve the integrity of his reputation as a rich doofus.
My ex-wife sleeps with one every night to fill a void in her life from 23 years of “wasted youth.” I’m not sure who I’m more jealous of.