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9:05 AM: Speed read The Divine Comedy in peripheral vision while sending text. Arrive. Leave.
Take better care of skin. Already looking like middle-aged 17-year-old
Jesus declared, “Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, because of this table I built. See that consistent grain?”
"Sounds like a nightmare. Tell me all about it."
“When we come back…The Rockettes will perform” (They won’t)
There is currently a Starburst-flavored C4 energy drink wedged underneath the brake pedal of my car.
North Carolina, Tennessee, Missouri, Arkansas — A bottle of your signature barbecue sauce (signature must be on bottle)
Paper Clips (Smooth Finish): You know the best jazz bars. Your turntable was designed by a Nasa engineer. You run marathons but don’t appear to sweat.
Body Spray Bay / Strictly Cuddles Cliff / Not-So-Fast Fjord
Thirst-quenching lightly carbonated infused with a blend of tropical fruits enhanced with vitamins and minerals perfectly natural and good for you.
3 washable school "Sure, I’m sticky now, but I’ll eventually be left out to dry" glue sticks
Hey girl, let me get your number, along with any additional resources you might have lying around, like a spare oxygen tank.