Funny Lists

Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes

Bug Fixes for Bugs

Bees transition from absolute monarchy to a constitutional democracy. The Queen exists only for ceremonial purposes.

Upon being assigned your case, they don’t ask how you want to plead, they ask if you were introduced in the first or second act.

Readers will be delighted, frightened, and enlightened, though a few will want to skip a certain scene—you’ll know which one.

$paul revere is riding math style$

Belphegor's prime if you feel the nation’s morals are lacking and perhaps we do need the firm hand of a monarch.

Name: Dick Van Dyke Species: Jerk Physical Appearance: Tall and rude. Personality: Straight white man.

2 months: Reaches for objects despite knowing they will only end up possessing him in return

Lower back pain that sets in after approximately half an hour of immobility.

The achievement of seeing the “You’re all caught up!” message on Instagram. / Actually, make that three mosquitos in the shower.

Add “new money” to my Instagram bio. / Start waving the way the Royals do.

9:05 AM: Speed read The Divine Comedy in peripheral vision while sending text. Arrive. Leave.

Take better care of skin. Already looking like middle-aged 17-year-old

Jesus declared, “Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, because of this table I built. See that consistent grain?”