Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes
Why I Couldn’t Play a Dead Body on “CSI: Miami”
Lower back pain that sets in after approximately half an hour of immobility.
Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes
Lower back pain that sets in after approximately half an hour of immobility.
The achievement of seeing the “You’re all caught up!” message on Instagram. / Actually, make that three mosquitos in the shower.
Add “new money” to my Instagram bio. / Start waving the way the Royals do.
9:05 AM: Speed read The Divine Comedy in peripheral vision while sending text. Arrive. Leave.
Take better care of skin. Already looking like middle-aged 17-year-old
Jesus declared, “Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, because of this table I built. See that consistent grain?”
"Sounds like a nightmare. Tell me all about it."
“When we come back…The Rockettes will perform” (They won’t)
There is currently a Starburst-flavored C4 energy drink wedged underneath the brake pedal of my car.
North Carolina, Tennessee, Missouri, Arkansas — A bottle of your signature barbecue sauce (signature must be on bottle)
Paper Clips (Smooth Finish): You know the best jazz bars. Your turntable was designed by a Nasa engineer. You run marathons but don’t appear to sweat.
Body Spray Bay / Strictly Cuddles Cliff / Not-So-Fast Fjord