A Categorical Ranking of Dogs
Gamer Dogs: Dogs playing poker / Dogs cheating at poker / The puppies in the Puppy Bowl
Tag: Guides
What Your Breakfast Order Says About You, NYC Edition
A Western omelette from a bodega served in a Styrofoam tray: You are a nihilist and people should actually be afraid of you.
Everything I Will Accomplish During My Perfectly Curated Adult Summer
After what happened last summer, I will not run after the Freddy’s Frozen Freaks ice cream truck.
A Sales Pitch for Camping
Do you want to ignite a painful audit of your soul and psyche where you question every decision in your life that led to this moment?
Get Ready for the Southern Maryland Antiquarian Book Fair to Rock Your World
These are the party animals who travel cross-country to see every footnote in person.
FAQ About Smash Guy, the Guy Who’ll Smash People’s Speakers for You
How do you respond to claims that your true identity is Speaker Guy and your do-good speaker smashing is a ruse to crank up speaker demand?
5 Personal Healing Methods That Don’t Feel as Good as Revenge
It’s important to find a hobby that you enjoy to a much lesser degree than the rolling oceanic pleasure you would get from pure retribution.
Creative Ways to Hide Your Mouth from Your Date While Eating Tacos
Obviously, not eating tacos isn’t an option, so here’s some helpful ways to hide your undignified devouring.
Introducing the “Choose Your Most Important Body Part” Health Insurance Plan
Choose a select body part for coverage. Options may include*: arm (1 only), leg (1 only), eye (1 only), lip (1 only), tongue, neck, forehead, or skin (maximum 1 square ft section).
What Are Thoughts?
What are thoughts? A better question might be, What isn’t a thought? A basketball, for example?
Why Is This Bowl $300? And Other FAQs I Get as a Shoppe Owner
Where did you get the inspiration for your earthenware mushroom potpourri? Would you ask Monet where he got the inspiration for his water lilies?
Circles of Hell Revised for Badly Behaved Prospective Employers
LIMBO: For employers who ghost a candidate.