When to Cry Over Spilled Milk
When the milk you spilled gets into every crevice of your floor, stove, and cupboards, making everything permanently sticky.
Tag: Guides
Download Our App for Your New Gallbladder
You may have noticed your belly button is blinking blue.
The Power Bill Is Here and It’s All Your Fault!
If humans were meant to be comfortable, they would evolve like the AI technology powered by our abundant data centers.
Registry Items I, the Virgin Mary, Would and Wouldn’t Buy Again If I Were Giving Birth to the (Next) Son of God
WOULD: Portable Manger. Mamas, this is a must. I loved having this when I was praying, prostrating, or getting my nails done with the girls.
How I Built 22 Streams of Passive Income by Blackmailing the Starting Lineup of the Philadelphia Eagles
One photo of Jalen Hurts missing a three-foot putt on the practice green or Lane Johnson’s AOL screen name from 2007 can be enough to set you up for months.
NFL-Inspired Power Rankings for Everyone at My Family’s Thanksgiving
After four down and out years, hardcore MAGA uncle Rick has regained his mojo with Trump back in office.
Nah, You Wouldn’t Want to Sign Up for My Class on Reverse Psychology
Consider auditing Professor Lipton’s lecture series on conformity. After all, everybody’s going.
Introducing the Perfect Shoe-Sizing System
US to UK: Simply adding an extraneous "u" to your US size now gets you the perfect fit across the pond.
Evidence That My Kid’s Daycare May Actually Be a Blues Joint
I guess it’s also strange that instead of being picked up, he is let out in front of our house at 4:00 AM by a 1978 Buick Regal.
Alternatives to Daylight Saving Time
Embarrassment saving height: Height charts are added five inches when obtaining your driver's license to avoid lying about how tall you are.
Budget-Friendly Halloween Candy Alternatives Amid Tariff Hikes
A description of discontinued candy bars: You know what’s better than not getting candy? Hearing about candy you’ll never get to enjoy ever.
What I Imagine People Think When They See Me Walking 24 Dogs
He must love dogs more than anything if he’s walking so many dogs. But why doesn’t he have a normal, regular job?