Operating Hours

I found out from a podcast that a 9:00 PM drop-off is considered out of the ordinary. I guess it’s also strange that instead of being picked up, he is let out in front of our house at 4:00 AM by a 1978 Buick Regal.

Cool Nicknames

This place is quite progressive, so at first, it didn’t strike me as odd that everyone at daycare knows Kevin as Smokey. And, all of his friends from class have happening nicknames too, Ice Lightning Perkins, Hollow Heart Fulton, and Dirt Fingers Miller.

Involuntary Reactions to Face Melting Riffs

I thought for sure that when all babies heard a guitar solo that they would tightly close their eyes, bite their lip, and tilt their chin before relaxing their face in cathartic release, but his pediatrician was baffled.

Inexplicable Accents

If you are expecting a baby to coo, cry, or babble, it can be jarring to hear the timbre of Smokey’s thick Mississippi accent, especially because we live in Summit Pike, New Hampshire. He frequently talks about all the trouble he’s had getting by, his time in prison, getting his heart broken, and selling his soul at an intersection.

Harmonica Calloused Lips

I was thrilled that the daycare was so interested in promoting music that I did not notice they kept saying “house band” and “a cut of the door.” And that Smokey swapped out his Fisher-Price marching band set with a Yamaha R-9 Blues Harp.

Velvet Doors

Smokey’s daycare has classroom themes. His group is called The Fedora Room. The majority of his art projects are smudged phone numbers on Tanqueray drenched matchbooks and cocktail napkins. Still, I was surprised during the open house to learn that we were expected to have at least two drinks in the Fedora Room. My friends say that their daycare centers won’t even let them pick their kids up if they smell like booze, but I reminded them about the Buick.

Collette

Now that he’s dating, there are mornings Smokey doesn’t come home, which puts a real strain on his mother and me, but we try not to add any more stress. It’s hard enough for Collette as a single mother, trying to make ends meet as a cocktail waitress, without her boyfriend’s parents giving her a hard time.

Switchblade Injuries

Kids come back from school with bumps, bruises, and rashes- it happens. Smokey was nicked with a switchblade in an altercation with the barback and biological father of Collette’s daughter, Freddy “Electric Midnight Shoelaces” Barbosa.

He Became the Court-Appointed Legal Guardian of a 14-Year-Old

What really tipped me off and began this whole line of inquiry was when Kevin became the legal stepfather to Collette and Freddy “Freddy Electric Midnight Shoelaces’” son, Little Fred. Freddy was in the can for the assault, and Collette got pinched hustling pool with the trombonist Billy “Leather Lips” Leishman. Smokey had really taken a shine to the kid, so when it was time for someone to step up for Little Fred, it was a no-brainer for my blus baby.