I Make Nature Sounds, and I’m Offended You Use Them for Sleep
What, you think a masterwork like "Swamp at Dawn" just happens? You think I just leave my voice notes running in a swamp at dawn? You fool.
What, you think a masterwork like "Swamp at Dawn" just happens? You think I just leave my voice notes running in a swamp at dawn? You fool.
How do you respond to claims that your true identity is Speaker Guy and your do-good speaker smashing is a ruse to crank up speaker demand?
Speaking of, I’ve been thinking about playing some Allman Brothers at the rehearsal dinner. But I might need a little lead time to learn the solo.
My shadow grows long on the playa, striking fear into the hearts of those who dare utter “Missy Elliot is kinda mid.”
3:34 AM: Still up. I’ve repeated the song so many times that I’m starting to see some of its lyrical flaws.
This snowman wedding racket is a disgrace to the good name of clergymen everywhere.
After a decade of not giving them a dime for any of their creative output, I just don’t understand why they would call it quits.
It is imperative we observe the appropriate time to ring in the season, as that “ring” is the alarm which awakens Santa from his 11-month slumber.
To follow the opera’s story, you don’t need to be fluent in Italian, German, or hieroglyphics.
In 200 feet, check the mirror to ensure your child hasn’t escaped the car seat like a little Gen Alpha Houdini.
Though I’ve never worked in the service industry nor do I know anyone who has, I know that, like all jobs, the head honcho is the daddy.
Basically this show is the plot of Guys and Dolls but, inexplicably, there is also one random guy on stage who keeps insulting Derek Jeter.