Leadeth these people past the still waters and into a heavenly double-time breakdown. Let the angels proclaim the glory of that sick beat.
I Got You Babe (And By “You” I Mean Rude Comments on Your TikTok)
Ah, the thrill of the entertainment industry, of which I am now a part as of several hours ago.
Statement: Miles Davis’ career led to the discovery of acoustic soft-beach rocker Jack Johnson. Ruling: Myth. Again, no.
Iron Maiden’s Trivial Pursuit: All questions pertain to the band’s twelve-minute songs which sum up a book you were supposed to read in school but didn’t.
Perfect Songs for 12 Scenarios When You’re Shaving Parmesan over a Plate of Fettuccine Alfredo and Waiting for the Patron to Say “When”
When it’s clear the patron isn’t saying “when” anytime soon and your mind starts to wander.
If with a group, how many surviving members are there? Of those who are still living, how many look like Keith Richards?
First off, my name is Jonathan. No one called me John, except Billy Joel. So were we really even friends?
Beethoven, Mozart, the one who wrote the song that plays during "Ocean’s 11" when they’re looking at the fountains. Yup, all those guys. And probably more.
Phork: This is an eating utensil composed of a traditional fork and a Phil Collins action figure.
(Hark! The Herald Angels Sing) Hush! Santa will hear our plotting, He’s gone mad, brain is rotting. We should organize a coup, Before he makes new boots from you.
You spent 49 hours listening to our ear-piercing message alert sound…