The Devil Anxiously Awaits Robert Johnson at the Crossroads
I’m so nervous, the sweat on my palms is boiling.
Comedy Writing
Hello, My Name Is Count Dracula and I’ll Be Your Server
Hello and velcome to Chili's. I'm so sorry for the vait, ve've been slammed tonight. My eternal thanks for your patience.
Kids, Scrub Daddy and Scrub Mommy Are Getting a Divorce
Please, Scrubbies, dry the grease from your eyes. I’ll always be your Scrub Daddy.
Is That Bolognese on Your Chinos, or Are You Bleeding Out in This Banana Republic?
I’m on thin ice with my manager, Trayson, and I can't afford another marinara mishap. Please, my job is on the line here.
A Few Words Before the Opening of “Bagel Bites the Musical”
Now the haters are gonna eat their words like a saturated fat-soaked afterschool snack.