2. Wear it as a Halloween costume! There’s nothing more terrifying than the repercussions of the wedding-industrial complex.
Just kinda set the money bags on your knees. I’d tell you to move the gold-plated racquet holder, but it’s welded to the center console.
Anaconda on "Anaconda" (1997) Hell yeah, brother. ★★★★
If you did not bring the appropriate attire for slithering or clinging, please see me after the welcome circle for gloves and knee pads.
It is with great regret that we inform you that you are by far the worst applicant our university has ever seen.
If these walls could talk, they'd talk incessantly about themselves while never asking you any questions about yourself.
I don’t even have to hunt. I just wait to eat the animals when they’re already dead, easy. And guess what? Things are always dying.
How come we can DRIVE on a PARKway but I can’t PARK my ASS in your HOT tub just because I don’t LIVE here or KNOW you?
Call me idealistic, but I want to live in a world where cyberbullying kills more people than heart disease.
Do dogs know they have bones inside them?
Good. Don’t click the link. Now, a wild badger climbs through the break room window and makes a beeline for your unguarded computer.
Whoever wins announces total dominion over all of humanity and also, they get to go first the next round.
New reservations are released four times a year at 2:01 AM on the Winter Solstice, the Summer Solstice, the Spring Equinox, and Armistice Day.
I had been changed into the hideous Mister Jekyll. That’s right... I WAS NO LONGER A DOCTOR!!!
What chance did this damaged little runt have against such a glittering squadron of unblemished beauties?
Someone chokes on a finger and vomits.
I'm a haunting and possessions professional with more than 125 years of experience facilitating jump scares, fever dreams, and thumps in the night.
