“SNL” Alums Remember the Awkward Encounters with Lorne Michaels That Got Them Hired!
Lorne's the best, you never know what to expect!
Quiz: Which New Testament Snack is Your Ultimate Boyfriend?
Jesus, Herod, Judas, and John the Baptist were the One Direction of the Roman Empire, with their feuds, alliances and grooming choices.
The Harrowing Tale of Going 52 Hours Without a Phone
I’m outside now, walking to the nearby pizza shop. There are people everywhere, so many of them, crawling all over the place.
Alright Fellas, We’re Doing It: We’re Robbing This Bank
Hey now. Don’t give me that look. We’re still a team, fellas. I’m a valued member of this crew, just as important as everybody else.
An Alien’s Guide to Caring for Human Babies
As we are the first of our species to inspect this planet called Earth, we have sent…
Let Me Feign Confidence for This Networking Luau
Sitting at a bar alone chewing mint gum while sipping a fruity drink is the ideal thing for a confident person to do at a party.
List: Classic Song Titles Re-Imagined at This Tech-Heavy, Millennial-Targeted, Social-First Advertising Agency
"Get Rich Media Banners or Die Tryin’" and "Jenny From the Blockchain": these are the kind of tunes best optimized for my life working here.
Erotica by a Woman Pretending to Be a Man Who is Pretending to Be a Woman
Her nipples were like CD-ROMS, perfectly circular, and any man could see themselves in them.
Weekend No. 19 in the County Jail
I only had one thing a female jail junkie would want: A bobby pin. Tiffany’s eyes widened with excitement and offered food.
List: 7 Cactuses Who Could Beat the Golden State Warriors
After playing four straight championships and winning three, fans are asking, "Is there a cactus who could even come close to beating the Warriors??"
The Girl of My Dreams Was a Paid Advertisement
Our love blossomed with the speed of a carefully edited, 30-second commercial for prescription diarrhea medicine.
RE: The Restless Dead Haunting the Office
Could we reschedule our 3:00? A rift between this world and the next has opened in the conference room, and we can’t hear client calls over the endless torture of the damned.
List: Things I, A Super Progressive White Man, Am Willing to Forgive Beto O’Rourke
Having sex with my wife. She was planning to vote for Kamala Harris and not Beto prior to their sexual encounter.
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