Teen Magazine Quizzes for Adults
Which teen heartthrob is the spitting image of someone you went to high school with but you can’t place? He definitely looks like someone… but who?
List: A Safety Guide for Your White Water Rafting Excursion
If you encounter a group of violent mountain people who threaten to harm you, please do not use your guide as a bargaining chip to secure freedom.
Season 87 Recap: This May Be My Last Recap for a While
I went back to episode 8 in season 32: Watch Cormorant’s face when Mandeep finds Bumbalini’s pre-IPO filing. I watched it 18 times.
Bill: You Have 13 Unread Emails from Change.org, Answer Them Right Now
(12/16/18 --- 10:46 AM) Bill-- 6-year-old Johnny Casin has some serious dirt on your ex-wife, Brittany.
List: 28 Other Mariah Carey Songs Which Perfectly Encapsulate the Codependent Relationship Between Sean Hannity and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Feel the spirit of Hannity/Ocasio-Cortez in Mariah songs like "Can't Let Go," "You Need Me," "I'm That Chick" and "Up Out My Face."
I’m the World’s Deadliest Assassin But Also a Virgin By Choice
I believe in one form of penetration -- my knife stabbing. I believe in one form of protection --killing anyone who knows my true identity.
Join the Gentleman’s Club
A quick moment to describe my surroundings: Chateau Gentleman is a leathery affair. Everything you could possibly imagine could be embroidered is so.
List: More Fun Facts About the Harry Potter Universe, From JK Rowling
All the bisexual students at Hogwarts were in their own separate, secret house called Smurgendurt. Their house colors were purple and invisible.
Rules for a Silicon Valley High School Dance in 2029
Students are not to ask the Steve Jobs hologram any questions pertaining to how much he actually did at Apple as opposed to the engineers.
Major Strasser of the Third Reich Trashes Rick’s Cafe on Yelp
My men and I were subjected to the cruelest act of bullying the world has ever seen, simply because we were singing songs of the Fatherland.
List: New Tracks Dropped By Kremlin-Approved Rappers
Get hype for "Damn It Feels Good To Be A State-Sponsored Social Media Influencer," "Obey Tha Police," and "Putin Said Knock You Out."
Things That Used to Be Fun in High School, But Aren’t Anymore
In order to experience that again, I had to erase my first kiss. I tracked down any record or indication that Julie Wexler ever walked the Earth.
Bring Unto Me Now This Kingly Delight!
Fetch this bar of chocolate that would serve two or three of my adoring subjects, but which I will eat entirely by mine own self, as is my right.
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