He ruffles my feathers. He overcooks my sunny-side-up eggs. You know what I mean? Really Mondays my Garfield.
As far as anyone here knows, we’re just one extremely handsome journalist and one extremely available woman sharing bruschetta.
My clone is always ill. Plus, our clones are deficient in blood, because we didn’t give them enough blood, so they are often woozy.
I can see that you've just put sunglasses on him. No, you're not allowed to "Weekend at Bernie's" an ice sculpture.
“Makes you glad to have nerve endings.” — Kirkus Reviews
I am going to yell into a pillow. I am going to scream in an empty car. I am going to throw a full tantrum in the grocery store cereal aisle.
I think I can muster up just enough strength to go put the gardening tools away but that’s about it. Just give me a second while I try to stand up.
When I look at those drawings where right-brained people see a horse, and left-brained people see a penguin, all I see is an artist that needs to change careers.
— Rick Post, @RickPostCo
I support a gossip-free workplace but I heard that some of our co-workers don’t.
I often wish an intruder would break into my home at night because maybe HE will take my Spider-Man pajamas seriously.
My clone is always ill. Plus, our clones are deficient in blood, because we didn’t give them enough blood, so they are often woozy.
I am going to yell into a pillow. I am going to scream in an empty car. I am going to throw a full tantrum in the grocery store cereal aisle.
I didn’t bring my resume with me but here you go: hahahahahhaa. See, I’m good.
5:00 AM -- Catching the sunrise? Driving to hockey practice? This is the third least-late time ever invented!
No one will explain the charge to you, but you are sure it is unjust.
February 1: Someone told me the ice cream bowl was basically just a cone. Total hater.
The word was poised to leap out of my mouth. I could feel the word coming loose from whatever papillae it had stepped in.
