Would you mind making me a logo for my new insect-dessert business? I was going to hire someone, but they wanted to charge me a few hundred dollars.
People are buying your data. What people? Well, maybe not people in general, but definitely the hideous creature you created.
Remember how I never explicitly say that I’m gay, and instead always couch it in weird innuendos?
He never juggles with some cheap-y plastic bowling pins and always uses solid wood ones with sparkly decals. Using bargain pins is disrespectful.
Too much fruit: I've eaten six tons of papaya, 3,500 grapefruits, 0 apples, 700 oranges, more grapes than I can count, and a plethora of colorful berries.
The suspicion that we are all just cogs in a hyper-capitalist machine — SANDALWOOD
Anyone who tries to create a paradox gets stopped by theoretical physicist Michio Kaku and his incredible superpowers.
ЯOЯЯIM A ИI ႧƎꟼꟼAЯT M’I ꟼ⅃ƎH
They say, “Revenge is sweet.”
They also say, “Revenge is best served cold.”
So I say, “Revenge is ice cream.”
*Sees someone with gold, frankincense, or myrrh* Oh a wise guy, eh?
Kevin demands only the best from his employees. He constantly circles my desk to “check in,” especially when I’m on my period.
I just happen to like the smooth sound of “Michael Jordackson.” It’s got a nice ring to it.
Walk out: Just leave en masse. Once you're a healthy distance away from me, there will be no one to support my Multi-Level Marketing Religion.
Contrary to popular belief, women do not possess one utilitarian opening for all of their bathroom and reproductive functions, like ducks.
Having never been to a mandatory restaurant before, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but Marshall-Chase-Spiderman-Sit-Down-Now was delightful!
And your little ghost friends? They can’t spend the night. All of you swirling around in a big circle above the roof.
Has that ever happened to you? Where your body is moving but your mind starts to dissociate? I bought party hats! Who wants one?
