Did we go to college together? No, I went to Penn State. High school? No, I’m from New York. Middle School? No, I never graduated.
4. Google, “What does sexually active mean?”
Because at VERMO Liquid Ant Baits, we don’t sell insecticide. We sell experiences.
For safety, we’re tying you right to the tip of the rocket—far from the hot hot thrusters. You’ll also get plenty of SPF to protect you.
He got together with all the angels, Betty White, and your childhood dog, and they had a long hard think about how things are going down here.
- Providing an extra hand for “light as a feather stiff as a board” at your next sleepover - Watching your ex’s Instagram story and reporting on their whereabouts
I’m so jealous of guys like you who can just sit at a table like this for hours and hours without literally moving a muscle—must be nice.
“Everything is fine,” I sighed while placing my bagel order.
Prison counselor humor:
“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”
Assistant: I’m here to help!
Boss: I’m here to make sure you help!
We don't even know him, what if this kickass party goes to waste because your baby ends up being a loser or something?
You think you know a person and then they run off with 29 of your closest friends to do a smash-and-grab.
Fool me three times, there’s a little bit of shame to go around here. Admittedly, maybe I should have caught on to your character by now.
Max acknowledges that you are now an out lesbian with a live-in girlfriend and three dogs so he has suggested the following addendums.
We don't even know him, what if this kickass party goes to waste because your baby ends up being a loser or something?
- My nephew crying because I “stole” one of “his” cheese curds that I bought - Scraping claws as a monster that has haunted me since birth moves closer
Just imagine the most unbelievable venue design I’ve ever seen is right behind his bald, moon-shaped head.
