He has a visible tattoo of Tim Allen playing billiards with Tim Allen. (The second Tim Allen had red glowing eyes. He kept calling him “Dark Tim.”)
A Chimp-Bather Among Us: This two-part documentary series suggests that on May 7, 2014, I stripped naked and scrubbed myself along with the chimps.
If you SEE something delicious, SAY “that looks yummy!” If you SEE something nutritious, SAY “I think I’ll go back to the yummy thing from earlier.”
We appreciate you allowing Goodman & Forsythe the opportunity to review your fantasy novel, Bible. Unfortunately, it is not right for us at this time.
As it struggled, it waved General McHenry closer. It opened eyes and in its dying breath choked out, "You're not fooling anyone with that hairpiece."
Tuppin Yerp - A rascal! Most days you can find him by the creek, fishing rod in one hand and slingshot in the other.
Personally ingratiate yourself to each and every search committee member. In your application, subtly but strongly imply that no favor is off-limits.
Thanks to the Farm Bill's protections, we can look after our community without having to do the murderous bidding of He Who Walks Behind the Rows.
"Unless this is some sort of street lingo I need to brush up on, I think you may have accidentally contacted me. LOL!"
Observation: Heart palpitations, shortness of breath, chest discomfort, numb left arm. Hypothesis: I'm having a heart attack and I will die soon.
I know it’s not very masculine, but it’s really more for my family than anything. I would have gone with a bigger one if not for my wife.
Being an accountant isn’t all about money, eating tuna sandwiches in the breakroom, and getting picked last for the company dodgeball team.
Just thinking about it gets me so angry. It makes me want to explicitly slice Raphael instead of the usual implicit slicing I do.
