Sure you have been up since 3 AM, counting the hours before you cry in the bathroom on your lunch break. That doesn’t mean you can’t tell others how to live.
He loves late-night, steamy phone calls when I’m home alone. I always tell him it’s such a boomer move but he just loves hearing my voice!
Wordle 187 6/6 SHIRT PANTS CLASH YIKES DRESS AGAIN
You are entropy incarnate. Which is captured much more accurately by this clip of a frog with long, sexy lady legs that burps up the word "Strike."
Hamm from "Toy Story": Manufactured from plastic, Hamm should be the last option on anybody's transplant list.
The Ethics Committee has taken notice of how January has benefitted from gym memberships, weight loss medications, and black-eyed peas sales for decades.
915: Ex has recurring role in formerly favorite TV series 916: Enormous spider in shower
Why do they call them contractions and not birth quakes?
There should be a food delivery app that also tells you what part of your order will be wrong or forgotten.
I asked my wife to get better about communicating her feelings, so she started making regular adjustments to my life insurance coverage.
How could two islands of near-identical climate, geology, and elevation give rise to two such distinct, yet delicious creatures? Science rocks.
Beethoven, Mozart, the one who wrote the song that plays during "Ocean’s 11" when they’re looking at the fountains. Yup, all those guys. And probably more.
How many times have we seen the same old Frankenstein’s monster? So get excited, because THIS Monster stabs.
(Hark! The Herald Angels Sing) Hush! Santa will hear our plotting, He’s gone mad, brain is rotting. We should organize a coup, Before he makes new boots from you.
So, I mean, you wouldn’t ask me to go in there and risk an encounter with ghosts, would you? I could just give you a free upgrade to large.
I’ve been locked in a trunk so many times I’m startin’ to think I’m a set of jumper cables!
What happened to us?! It feels like only yesterday I was making sure you dimwits knew when to laugh during all sorts of zany shenanigans.
