Dante’s Nine Circles of YouTube Hell
Circle Two: Cooking Tutorials - Wistfully, the penniless souls here all live in studio apartments where the only cooking appliance is a hotplate.
Stuff You Don’t Need from the Museum of Modern Art’s Store Catalogue
Contemporary realist Pavel Shpet’s “manic” salt and “depressive” pepper will liven up any dining table. (Well, one of them will liven it up.)
Dear Faculty, Seeking Volunteers for Tribute
Should you fall ill, the university has shored up our reserve of adjuncts. They will easily be able to take on your classes in an emergency.
I Am the Raccoon Who Lives in Your Trash and We Need to Talk about Your Diet
And your chicken nuggets are shaped like Shrek. How old are these things? They haven’t promoted a Shrek movie since 2010.
The Astrological Signs as Frat Boys
Miles, the Sagittarius, regales the party with tales from his trip to East Asia, and questions whether Western medicine is always right.
A North Jersey Mob Boss Holds a Zoom Meeting About “Legitimate Business”
If anyone’s screen-sharing with a cop, it won’t be long until you’re keeping six feet away from the living. Screen-sharers are dead to me.
The New Facebook Parent Control Panel
For verification purposes, please tag a public post that was clearly intended to be an embarrassing private message to you from that parent.
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Classic Movies Re-Imagined with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as the Lead
Forty-eight-year-old high school senior Ferris "The Rock" Bueller has 24 hours to save the city of Chicago from imminent destruction.
Quiz: Bear in Hibernation or Millennial in Quarantine?
Works hard but makes no money / Loves avocado and salmon breakfasts / Obsessed with filtered water / Goes on many long, sad walks
How to Make My Grandmother’s Famous Cookies and Also Buy the Dairy Farm She Left Me
Homemade cookies are easier than you realize, and so is purchasing my grandmother’s farm. We don’t even need to go through any lawyers or anything.
The Nightmare Factories in Your Brains Will Remain Open for Business
You may be wondering: Mr. Krueger, are nightmare factories really "essential?" Especially during a pandemic when real life mimics nightmares?
List: The Difference Between the Meanings of Ethnic Names and White Names
Farvardin: One who protects the good and the pure / Wendy: Says "I love you" way too frivolously
A Step-by-Step Guide to Choosing a Password That Fulfills Every Last Requirement
2. Passwords must contain the word that best describes how you feel about your parents’ 1993 divorce. Your selection: pizza2betrayal
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