I will still go to the farmer’s market, but I will definitely be glancing at the sky and looking for anything that looks like it might crash into me.
What did the bad joke have to say for itself? “Let me explain.”
There can only be one girl boss, the rest are just girl associates.
Thinking about the time when I was 5 and my dad told me to give a fake name to the clown at my birthday party because “nobody needs to know your business.”
Not only is the third-person thing annoying, but it ends up sounding like a command. Simon says raise your hand if you want to slap me for that.
- Ah, yeah, I got Pfizer, too. - My weekend was good! Just went to the park, socially distanced. How was yours? - AGH, OUCH! Shit. No, I’m okay.
While you were busy arguing about whether or not I’m still in style, did you ever stop to consider my feelings?
There is a powerful part of me that needs, for just one night a year, some very specific, humiliating things from an outlaw rebel ghost.
Bulk of budget devoted to keeping Aragorn looking as wet as possible at all times.
"I only had two glasses of wine with dinner." Ah, ah, ah. Correction: you had two AND A HALF glasses of wine.
Every blade of grass has a statue inside it, a David or a Pieta or even a Bacchus, and it is the task of the mower to discover it.
You became very well-acquainted with someone known as the Tiger King.
If you’ve stuck around for the past few years, we want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts, and also ask you how and why you did such a thing.
All that changed when a (unnamed for legal purposes) billionaire “superhero” with no powers showed up and asked me to join his superhero team.
