If you’re uneasy about the idea of working with wood it’s probably because you didn’t know that it’s the wood that gets sawed into pieces, not you.

Anyone who loves loud and chaotic environments will feel at home in a wood shop, thanks to the electrified saws, giant drills, and me yelling “Timber!” every time I tip over a pile of wood.

If you want to know which types of wood you should learn about, I recommend oak, walnut, and whichever kind was used to make a house of sticks in “The Three Little Pigs” because, boy, that did not end well. Also, whichever kind makes syrup.

In the wood shop, you live by two rules: “measure twice, cut once,” and “it’s just a spice rack, eyeball it.”

Working with wood can be deeply rewarding. A good example is making a nice wooden plaque that you can give to yourself. But what do I know? I’m just “The World’s Hunkiest Woodworker.”

Finding the wood you need for a project is easy; the hard part is explaining what happened to three-fourths of your neighbor’s oak tree.

Let’s say that you’re doing a woodworking project and you accidentally cut off your finger. In terms of woodworking, that is not good.

One challenging thing about working with wood is that there are lots of tools to master, but eventually you learn them all, including what a jack plane does. Or what it might do. OK, I don’t know how to use a jack plane.

Woodworking has something for everyone. There’s door making for people who like privacy. There’s fence making for people who like privacy for their yards. And there’s cabinet making, for people who like privacy, only smaller and for their pots and pans.

The lamest thing you can make with wood is a toothpick while the most badass thing you can make with wood is your own coffin. Or a monster truck.

Any woodworker will tell you it’s helpful when people pitch in on a project but apparently it’s “not helpful” to smash all their pine boards to demonstrate your skills as a purple belt.

Once, I learned that hickory wood is stronger than steel in terms of its weight-to-strength ratio. Then I learned that not everyone likes that fact, especially furloughed steelworkers. Then I got clobbered with a tire iron.

As nature’s woodworkers, beavers can do a lot of damage to their environments, but I bet my neighbor wouldn’t get mad at a beaver for accidentally felling a tree onto the hood of his Subaru Crosstrek.

Certain woodworking projects can be frustrating but imagine how much more frustrating it would be if you were a tree that got chopped down and turned into a birdhouse when you were already basically a birdhouse.

One of the best parts of working with wood is that it can evolve from a hobby into an important part of your life. You might occasionally saw off a finger, flatten your neighbor’s compact crossover SUV, or provoke a group of steelworkers, but on those days, you can look over to your wall of plaques and know that you’re still a downright hunk in a shop apron.