Hey gorgeous! It’s that time of year again! Yep! Another trip around our glorious star, the sun (so Leo of me to bring up the sun 😝)!

The denizens of “Ass”toria (my six roommates and I) (lol) and my girlfriends (who I’m poly with by the way), are once again descending upon Pig Beach without calling ahead and just assuming we’ll get our favorite table close to the cornhole board!

Speaking of cornholing: I know we only met in passing at Brianna’s Axe-Throwing Farewell Party, but I got SUCH a great vibe from you. My girlfriends and I would LOVE to see you again. My girlfriends and I, who are poly, that is.

I was so bummed you had to “leave early” to get home to your “husband.” I was having such a great time telling you all about myself and my girlfriends! Who I’m poly with by the way! Monogamy is a prison! Get divorced!

My party is gonna be great—I mean, what’s better than hot meats!? 😉 It’s allllll on the table, and it’s gonna be a crazy night 😜

If that evening doesn’t work for you, just let me know, and I’ll hit up our shared Google Calendar (my girlfriends are color-coded by their birth stones) (my poly girlfriends) (NOT monogamous) to find another time when you’re free. You’re not getting out of this one!! Haha! 🤪

In fact, you should just join our shared Discord to plan. I know you were busy when we invited you for contra-dancing… and the Renn Fair… and the glass blowing convention… and the destination LARP retreat… and the one-off D&D campaign that I totally was willing to schedule around you (I RP a fucking RIPPED bard by the way) (he plays the lute and flirts with every NPC) (it’s better than therapy! I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been)—so you kinda owe me bb! 😉😘

Sierra, Kat, Persephone, Twyla, Capricorn, and I are sooooo eager to spend more time with you, and if you’re too tired like last time, don’t worry! We literally live a block away and you can totally crash at ours after. Wouldn’t want to send you home alone after a big ol’ bacchanal. You never know what kind of creeps are out there!

In fact, you so SHOULD come over after! That’s such a great idea! My girlfriends (the poly ones) and I all work at the same bar, and we’ve got a stocked fridge/liquor cabinet for just such an occasion. Name a cocktail, and we’ll make you a triple! We won’t send you home unsatisfied! 😅

So ditch that “husband” and hang with just us!! Because if another dude enters the chat I lose my fucking shit.

Can’t wait to see ya there! Try some things you’ve never tried!!

Like polyamory 😉

Your friend (or maybe more??????)

—Steve