Proposed Rules Changes to the NBA
- Third quarter is the "tickle quarter" - Allow players to wear leather jackets for more "dangerous" vibe
Comedy Writing
When We Get Married, I Want to Take Your Last Name, Along with Your First Name, Middle Name, Social Security Number, and Dental Impressions
My mom took my dad's name—and fingerprints, and mustache, and a high-resolution scan of his face with a state-of-the-art LIDAR device.
A One-Sided Conversation at a Grill That You Didn’t Start and Can’t Get Out Of
I’m going to take a beer. Man. Beeeeautiful. Nothing like a nice day– Flip that. That’s done. It’s burnt.
New and Improved Musical Instruments for 2019
When you're giving CPR and their mouth is stuck petrified in an O-shape, so when you blow it makes them whistle.