Scarlet Meyer profile page

Scarlet Meyer NYC

Scarlet Meyer is a NYC based writer and comedian. You can find her sitting on her couch.

Comedy Writing

On your left you’ll see our first exhibit titled “Coat Check.” Wait for just long enough to doubt whether it will really be worth it.

Your mama’s so broke she doesn’t even make cents! Which is a shame because she’s worked hard for everything in this life.

You’re young, your hormones are raging. All you want to do is figure out what the shadowy figure following you through mirrors is saying.

5:00 AM: After taking a deep mindful breath, I stroll outside to my gorgeous backyard and teach my daily Pilates class to the woodland creatures.

A profoundly boring pair of plaid PJs ($499.78)

You come into possession of 12-25 sample eye creams. Every few weeks you get another one. How do they get there? What do they do? No one knows.

You may be wondering: Mr. Krueger, are nightmare factories really "essential?" Especially during a pandemic when real life mimics nightmares?

Darren McCoy, 28, Class of 2013, Has an 8-Year-Old Batman Spec Script No One Has Read.

"I got this weird monkey’s paw from some dude hanging outside of Port Authority. I was trying to buy weed and he said he had something stronger? Lol"