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View more recent reviews of Monkey’s Paw™ on Amazon:
★★★★☆ What’s the worst that can happen?
October 20, 2019
Don’t let these negative Nancy’s get you down! I’ve had it for 3 hours and things are already turning around. Like I wished for a dirt bike and then one hit me, which sucked. But then the driver gave it to me for free if I promised to not call the cops! Fucking sweet! I took one star off because this thing smells RANK though. I don’t think anyone has ever thought to keep this thing in the refrigerator so far lol.
★★☆☆☆ MY SON IS DEAD
October 16, 2019
I tried to wish for more money and then my son died? Then we got a settlement from his death, but like come on. Obviously, no one in their right mind would want that, right? Just felt like it was trying to teach me a “lesson” about greed, which I found EXTREMELY condescending given the circumstances. I tried to use a wish to bring him back and now he’s trapped between heaven in hell in a rotting corporeal form? Definitely would not purchase again. Unrelated, does anyone on here have ANY experience with the living dead? I’ve got one wish left but given this thing’s track record I’m a little nervous to use it!
★★★★★ Wow cool a monkey’s paw! I’ve go a good feeling about this
October 15, 2019
My friend had this thing and tried to throw it in a fire? He said it was cursed and he was trying to send it back to hell from whence it came? Despite being someone I deeply trust/respect, I decided to not listen to his warning. It seemed pretty expository and I prefer to be shown not told, you know? He said if I took it, he wouldn’t be held “responsible” for whatever happened next. Dramatic much? I gave it to my mom, and she said she’s going to use it to wish for more money. Can’t wait to go to work tomorrow and tell my friends all about it!
★★☆☆☆ Dissatisfied customer! : (
October 14, 2019
I got this weird monkey’s paw from some dude hanging outside of Port Authority. I was trying to buy weed and he said he had something stronger? Lol whatever weirdo. He said that he got it from a religious man who didn’t want anyone to tamper with fate or some weird metaphysical shit. I didn’t take it seriously at first but HOLY HELL THIS THING IS BAD! I don’t want to get into it because it’s pretty embarrassing, but I’m wanted by the police now? Anyway, my friend’s son grabbed it out of the fire I was trying to destroy it in. I told him it’s bad, but I could tell he wasn’t taking me seriously. Hope that this doesn’t cause any unintended tragic consequences or whatever!
★☆☆☆☆ Please unburden me of this meaningless existence
August 14, 2019
Gonna warn you right now, this thing works, but only in weird moral parables. Like if you ask for even the most innocent improvement in your life, this little shit is going to make sure your grandma dies or something (sorry gran). Gave it to some chump at Port Authority. Tried to tell him the whole story, but this guy was clearly looking for weed. Hope he does try to smoke it, who knows what would happen then lol. Oh God. What have I done? I’m just perpetuating the cycle! Mankind was a mistake!
★★★★★ HAH! BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR GET ITTTT??
June 10, 2019
It was me! The religious dude who cursed this weird mummified monkey’s paw! Bet you learned an important lesson about MORALITY huh??? Anything good comes at a price!! I’m SO much fun at parties!