Cave Notices
ATTN: DYNAMITE FOUND IN CAVE. COME GET YOURSELF A CRATE.
Tag: Lists
Rejected Monopoly Chance Cards from When I Was Going through a Ska Phase
Go back three spaces; you left your ID at the venue.
Honey, Check Out This Digital Article About How Bad It Is for You to Read on Your Phone
Cats that watch videos of birds are more likely to get feline dementia than cats who go outside and see real birds. It’s true.
RE: Met Gala Coat Check
ONE hat per person—five chic Homburgs stylishly stacked on top of each other do NOT count as one.
Everything to Know About Connecticut
The often overlooked “Constitution State” is not just a connecting strip between New York and Boston.
If Your Grown-up Job Incorporated Things You Learned in School
The boss is really hounding me for that report on the differences between prokaryotic and eukaryotic cells.
That’s Right, I Claimed the 9 Billion Living Probiotics in My Kombucha as Dependents on My Tax Return
If joint return, spouse’s first name and middle initial: N/A (I brew my own kombucha)
Six-Course Tasting Menu for an Italian Restaurant with No Toilet
Join us for an intimate five-hour journey with our tasting menu that changes seasonally, while our bathroom policy does not.
How to Style Curly Hair in Fourteen Perfectly Reasonable Steps
Look up “detoxifying.” And “curl pattern.” And “Keri Russell in Felicity,” before she cut her hair, just so you have an unattainable ideal.
Ominous Bumper Stickers
If You’re Reading This, You’re Paying More Attention To The Road Than I Am
Anxiety Dreams Experienced by People with Healthy Childhoods
The high school cafeteria comes into surreal focus.... Excellent! Loved high school!
Irish Blessings for the Oscars
May strategists be with you and bless you, May you see your children’s children become nepo babies.