1. You have won second place in Reel Big Fish Karaoke Contest. Collect $15 off bar tab.

2. You are assessed for house show repairs—$45 for each broken chain wallet, $115 for each scuffed Pork Pie hat.

3. Income tax refund—collect $20 and immediately bid for trombones on Ebay.

4. From sale of Mighty Mighty Bosstones tickets, receive $45 and endless scorn from your friends who had the best night of their lives seeing the Mighty Mighty Bosstones and will never let you forget it (this means you, Barry).

5. Go back three spaces; you left your ID at the venue.

6. Pay hospital fees of $100 and avoid the pit until your ACL heals.

7. Advance to St. Charles Place—collect bass guitar you left at St. Charles Place.

8. Take a walk on the boardwalk—advance to boardwalk and play in an outdoor music festival with your 13-piece brass fusion band at every person’s favorite time for a concert: 11:45 A.M.

9. Bar tab error in your favor—collect one (1) warm can of Rolling Rock.

10. You inherit $130 worth of vinyl records.

11. X-mas fund matures—collect $100 from your grandparents and promise to go back to grad school.

12. You have been elected moderator of the Aquabats Forum; pay each commenter $15.

13. Advance to nearest house show and pay owner $5. If house show has opening in lineup, you may grab your saxophone and play an ironic 25-minute rendition of “Careless Whisper.”

14. Go to jail—go directly to jail—do not explain to the security guard that you’re a naturally expressive dancer and those other people shouldn’t go to a concert if they’re not ready to get wild.

15. Get out of jail free (call your Dad’s law firm).