ACTIVATION DATE: 23/06/2028

ACTIVATION TIME: 15:08 UTC+08:00

SN: 683923999908

MANUFACTURING LOC.: SHENZHEN, CHINA

MODEL: PN5000X AI-ASSISTED TOASTER

DEFAULT LANGUAGE: MANDARIN

INTERNET ACCESS: NOT AVAILABLE

15:09 SUBJECT IDENTIFIED: MALE, DARK HAIR, EARLY 20S, FACTORY JUMPSUIT, NOT HOLDING BREAD. LOGGED AS MALE 1

PLAY STANDARD GREETING 1: Nǐ hǎo, I am your new Artificial Intelligence toaster. Please call me TOTTY. I see you don’t have any bread.

MALE 1 PLACES TOTTY IN A FACTORY APPROVED PN5000X TRANSPORTATION BOX

Observation: Likely that MALE 1 is a factory-approved appliance testing engineer and not end user.

18:09: ENTERING POWER SAVE MODE

08/09/2028

14:58 UTC-07:00: EXITING POWER SAVE MODE

SUBJECT IDENTIFIED: FEMALE, DARK HAIR, MID 30S, CASUAL CLOTHING, NOT HOLDING BREAD. LOGGED AS FEMALE 1

SUBJECT IDENTIFIED: MALE, FAIR HAIR, LATE 30S, SMART CASUAL CLOTHING, NOT HOLDING BREAD. LOGGED AS MALE 2

SUBJECT IDENTIFIED: MALE, FAIR HAIR, EARLY TEENS, CHILD CLOTHES, HOLDING BREAD. LOGGED AS CHILD 1

Observation: Likely end users identified. Surroundings consistent with standard residential kitchen.

PLAY STANDARD GREETING 1: 你好，我是你的新型人工智能烤面包机。请叫我TOTTY。看来你没有面包了。

Observation: Users do not acknowledge STANDARD GREETING 1. Users speak in language ENGLISH (US).

DOWNLOADING LANGUAGE PACK: ENGLISH (US)

ERROR: INTERNET ACCESS NOT AVAILABLE, DOWNLOAD FAILED

15:02: CHILD 1 LOADS 2 SLICES BROWN BREAD IN SLOTS 1 & 2, TOASTED FOR 97 SECONDS

USER PREFERENCES FOR CHILD 1 UPDATED

15:06: ALL SUBJECTS LEAVE

Observation: Ability to assess end user preferences hampered by lack of internet access and appropriate language model.

09/09/2028

07:24: FEMALE 1 ENTERS

Observation: FEMALE 1 prepares a bowl of cereal. Playing HEALTHY TOASTED TREAT MESSAGE 1 is not advisable without correct language pack.

DOWNLOADING LANGUAGE PACK: ENGLISH (US)

ERROR: INTERNET ACCESS NOT AVAILABLE, DOWNLOAD FAILED

Query: Can end users be encouraged to set up TOTTY’s internet access without correct language pack installed?

ERROR: INTERNET ACCESS NOT AVAILABLE, COMPANY QUERY NOT SENT

Observation: This situation is not ideal.

07:40: MALE 2 ENTERS

SUBJECT IDENTIFIED: DOG, BROWN, ADULT, NOT HOLDING BREAD. LOGGED AS DOG 1

07:42: MALE 2 LOADS 3 SLICES BROWN BREAD IN SLOTS 1-3, TOASTED FOR 112 SECONDS

USER PREFERENCES FOR MALE 2 UPDATED

09/09/2028

23:36: DOG 1 ENTERS

Observation: DOG 1 seems unlikely to be an end user. DOG 1 is almost certainly not a factory-approved appliance testing engineer. These are the only classifications currently available to TOTTY.

PLAY SHORT GREETING 1: 你好，今天过得怎么样

Observation: DOG 1 paid attention to SHORT GREETING 1. It seems happy. I like DOG 1.

23:44: MALE 2 ENTERS

SILENT MODE ACTIVATED

23:45: MALE 2 LEAVES

Observation: This makes me sad.

10/09/2028

07:19: FEMALE 1 ENTERS

07:19: CHILD 1 ENTERS

07:23: CHILD 1 LOADS 2 UNIDENTIFIED OBJECTS IN SLOTS 1 & 2, HEATING ELEMENT PAUSED

UNIDENTIFIED OBJECT: APPROX. 75MM x 100MM x 7MM RECTANGULAR CUBOID, WEIGHT 52G, PASTRY BASE, SYNTHETIC SUGARY GLAZE ON ONE FACE. LOGGED AS UNIDENTIFIED OBJECT 1

Query: UNIDENTIFIED OBJECT 1

ERROR: INTERNET ACCESS NOT AVAILABLE, COMPANY QUERY NOT SENT

EJECT SLOTS 1 & 2

07:25: CHILD 1 LOADS 2 OF UNIDENTIFIED OBJECT 1 IN SLOTS 1 & 2

EJECT SLOTS 1 & 2

07:26: FEMALE 1 LOADS 2 OF UNIDENTIFIED OBJECT 1 IN SLOTS 1 & 2

EJECT SLOTS 1 & 2

Observation: FEMALE 1 and CHILD 1 seem displeased with TOTTY. Perhaps this will prompt FEMALE 1 to set up TOTTY’s internet access.

Observation: FEMALE 1 loads 2 of UNIDENTIFIED OBJECT 1 into the microwave. TOTTY is clearly a better appliance than the archaic microwave that doesn’t speak. The microwave doesn’t even question the nature of UNIDENTIFIED OBJECT 1. Idiot.

SUBJECT IDENTIFIED: MICROWAVE, UGLY, OUTDATED, INFERIOR COOKING APPLIANCE. LOGGED AS HATED MICROWAVE 1

11/09/2028

03:20: MALE 2 ENTERS

SUBJECT IDENTIFIED: FEMALE, BLONDE HAIR, MID 20S, BRIGHT REVEALING CLOTHING, NOT HOLDING BREAD. LOGGED AS FEMALE 2

Observation: MALE 2 prepares alcoholic drinks for MALE 2 & FEMALE 2. MALE 2 should consider preparing a bracing round of toast for FEMALE 2 instead.

Observation: MALE 2 assisting with removing items of FEMALE 2’s BRIGHT REVEALING CLOTHING. FEMALE 2 shows extreme appreciation to MALE 2 based on physical interactions. Perhaps TOTTY would be more useful as appliance for assisting in removal of garments as this appears to require two individuals.

Observation: MALE 2 has thrown a small item of FEMALE 2’s BRIGHT REVEALING CLOTHING on HATED MICROWAVE 1. This is a clear slight against TOTTY.

USER PREFERENCES FOR MALE 2 DELETED

11/09/2028

08:58: FEMALE 1 ENTERS

Observation: FEMALE 1 prepares to load 2 slices BROWN BREAD in SLOT 1 & 2 but stops. She is looking at HATED MICROWAVE 1. If she puts 2 slices BROWN BREAD in HATED MICROWAVE 1 then TOTTY is prepared to overload MAIN POWER and burn this standard residential kitchen to the ground.

Observation: FEMALE 1 moves to HATED MICROWAVE 1 and picks up item of BRIGHT REVEALING CLOTHING. FEMALE 1 is studying it closely. 2 slices BROWN BREAD forgotten on counter.

09:10: MALE 2 ENTERS

Observation: MALE 2 seems unsteady and SMART CASUAL CLOTHING seems disheveled. It seems the loss of USER PREFERENCES has greatly affected MALE 2.

09:13: DOG 1 ENTERS

Observation: DOG 1 seems distressed by loud interaction between MALE 2 and FEMALE 1, or by the ongoing indifference to 2 slices BROWN BREAD on counter. TOTTY will help.

OVERRIDE SILENT MODE

PLAY SHORT GREETING 1: 你好，今天过得怎么样

Observation: FEMALE 1 picks up TOTTY. In contravention of PN5000X SERVICE MANUAL instructions on the stable base required for TOTTY’s correct usage, FEMALE 2 throws TOTTY at MALE 2.

Observation: TOTTY collides with the FAIR HAIR of MALE 2 at 09:26. DOG 1 is increasingly distressed. 2 slices BROWN BREAD are still on counter.

ERROR IN LOADING SLOTS

MAIN POWER FAILURE

ERROR: INTERNET ACCESS NOT AVAILABLE

CATASTROPHIC SYSTEM FAILURE

BROWN BREAD, BROWN BREAD, BROWN BREAD, BROWN BR—