HIRING: One male and one female of every animal. Please submit a cover letter explaining why you are the most qualified/fertile of your species.
When I switched to the New York Times mini-crossword they yelled at me again---and put child locks on so I could only look at replays.
Allowing us to sell your data helps us serve you ads relevant to your interests. Also, the orb is ravenous.
That’s great, Sylvia. I’ll just make a note of that for my records. Do you mind if I change the subject while we wait for our server to arrive?
YOU FORGOT MOM’S BIRTHDAY! IT’S TODAY! BUY HER A PRESENT HERE NOW!
Which of your family members is now a part of QAnon? What is your first guess on Wordle?
Reasons I Will Not Be Posting My Spotify Wrapped That Emphatically Have Nothing to Do with How Humiliating My Results Are
A lot of the information Spotify gives you doesn’t seem that interesting anyway. I don’t even think “Toxic Positivity Delusioncore” is a real genre.
You scrolled your own Instagram profile for 3 hours last week. You will never get that time back.
My being here is simply for the lulz and has nothing to do with my ex posting a vacation album with her new boyfriend on social media.
Wow, Pete! You ordered a lot of food. Did you skip lunch again?
We at Amazon want to replicate every part of the brick-and-mortar experience, and that includes the sweet sweet thrill of shoplifting.
Who’ll want to chat with poor old Yarvik about annual rainfall when they can discuss philosophy of mind or Baroque art?