Benvenuto a Spiacenti, Non Abbiamo La Toilette, which translates to “Sorry, no potty stuff here.”

Join us for an intimate five-hour journey with our tasting menu that changes seasonally, while our bathroom policy does not.

Prezzo a persona $347, plus minor bladder and colon injury.

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Aperitivo

An Italian tradition to tease the appetite & fill the bladder
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Bottomless Aperol Spritz or Negroni

Fave e Cicoria (Fava Bean Purée with Wild Chicory)

Olivo Mixto

Mixto as in “mixed” como our Yelp reviews due to our lack of toilette.

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Antipasti

More appetizers to stimulate the palette
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Salumi, Hard Cheeses, & Super Extra Piccante Peperoncini Plate drizzled con Olio Santo

Olio Santo is a chili pepper oil often called “Holy Oil” perché you will pray to the lord for bread e un toilette, però we don’t have either.
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Primi

Ninety minutes down, only three and a half more oras to go!
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Spaghetti and meatballs all’arrabbiata

Our spicy angry sauce inspired by molti clienti who scream and shout when we explain that si, we do have a restroom però only for staff.

Secondi

Keep it up!
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Tre Fagioli

Cannellini Beans topped with Ceci Beans sprinkled with Lupini beans (Vegan, Gluten-free)

Or

Lamb with Cannellini Beans topped with Ceci Beans sprinkled with Lupini beans

Both served with a side:

Una mappa to nearby businesses con pubblico bathrooms

Non prendetevela con noi: NYC Health Code § 81.22 states that establishments with fewer than 20 seats are exempt from providing customer restrooms.

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Dolci & Caffè

Auguri! Four and a three-quarter oras and voi still here!!
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Tiramisu
Espresso Singolo (single)
Espresso Doppio (double)
Espresso Triplo (we dare you)

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Digestivi & High Speed Uber

Ride home within the five boroughs included in price
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Shot choice of:
Sambuca, Limoncello, Fernet-Branca, Grappa

Destination choice of:
Your home toilette or the nearest hospital

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Bevande
Tap, still, or sparkling water
Tap, still, or sparkling water with a tablespoon of psyllium husk
Pomegranate juice with a splash of castor oil
Prune juice with a side of Miralax
Bombardino (Italian Eggnog, holidays only)

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Bambini
Amiamo children! Though not enough to let them use il nostro bagno.
High chairs, diapers, and puppy wee pads available upon request.