On Behalf of Our Entire Waitstaff, I Apologize for That New Birthday Song
Oh, I would hardly call what you saw "nudity" or "pornographic movements."
Tag: Restaurants
Updates on the Status of the Tuna Melt You Ordered
Chef Roberts was trying to open the new tuna can, and his thumb got stuck in the ring.
Forgot to Book Your Beach Vacation? Here’s Your Best Second Choice!
Depending on who you ask, this flashing neon sign either depicts two pelicans frolicking or fornicating. The choice is yours!
Six-Course Tasting Menu for an Italian Restaurant with No Toilet
Join us for an intimate five-hour journey with our tasting menu that changes seasonally, while our bathroom policy does not.
I Am the Stain That’s Already Ruined Your Favorite Sweater
The whole restaurant glares as you fling your body away from the table like you’re protecting the commander-in-chief.
This Is an Ordinary Coffee Shop
The tattoos on our baristas do not rub off with a wet rag and those are actually real live septum piercings. If you don’t believe us, give one a tug.
Have You Dined with Us Before?
The kitchen’s behind that door. Craig, our cold dishes chef, will sulk if you don’t order any salads.
Hello, My Name Is Count Dracula and I’ll Be Your Server
Hello and velcome to Chili's. I'm so sorry for the vait, ve've been slammed tonight. My eternal thanks for your patience.
An Oral History of the Definitive Origins of Pumpkin Spice
The Great Pumpkin: Well, it was the ‘60s. We were all experimenting. I started messing around with cloves.
Scary Stories to Tell Adults in the Dark
A New Ache: Jonah awoke one morning to find his feet had been possessed.
Stop Calling Me a Nepo Baby, I Worked My Buns Off to Become the Burger Crown Prince!
Sure, the door might have been slightly ajar, but I had to walk through it. And I drank all the milkshakes and yelled, “How do you like me now!”
Seven Signs Your Accountant Might Actually Be Mayor McCheese
His Hat Doesn’t Fit: When meeting with your accountant, you might not think to glance up at his purple top hat.