On your left you’ll see our first exhibit titled “Coat Check.” Wait for just long enough to doubt whether it will really be worth it.
And his use of my signature catchphrase, “Smell you forever because you stink that bad.” I knew I should have had that copyrighted.
It’s been 34 minutes since my last message, and you haven’t jumped on the chance to implement BRAINDRAIN to help your organization.
I no longer wish to ride an aging plow horse. And yet, when I ride to the horse dealer and request a sleek, red mustang, I am met with ridicule.
If spotted, DO NOT CHASE. Instead, acknowledge his beauty, respectfully. Obviously all dogs are beautiful, but he’s a stunner.
Instead of opening and deleting messages as he received them, User #119182 has kept every email he has received since creating his account in 2009.
Wired: Earwigs. Bugs, but heavy metal and down to party. With those pincers you know they’re into some dark shit.
I don’t believe in sex after marriage.
A shy pastor is one who waits for the choir boy to make the first move.
5 Easy Steps to Manage a Panic Attack from Someone Currently Having One
Step 1: AHHHHHHHHHH
Step 2: AHHHHHHHHHH
Step 3: AHHHHHHHHHH
Step 4: AHHHHHHHHHH
Step 5: The 4-7-8 Breathing Method
Remember the opening scene from "The Dark Knight"? That was one of ours.
Tech Check: Celebs reflect on life, love and their rise to the top while being interrupted by their grandfather asking for help with his smartphone.
“This is my friend, Sherlock Holmes. He’s from America.” “Not just America, actually. I’m from Chicago.”
Periodically you might encounter your double. Do not engage, especially for sex.
