Ryan Burkett | Points in Case

Ryan Burkett

Writer and comedian based in Chicago. Telling joke, raising beagle.

Comedy Writing

long hair man look at him

I Am Willing to Grow Out My Hair for the Right Part

I’m not supposed to say anything, but I’m growing it out for a gig. Nothing major, just an acting thing. I assume Jake told you I’m an actor?

by Ryan Burkett
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September 4, 2025

confused guy time traveling

Don’t Be Nervous on Your First Day of Time Travel Because You Retired Yesterday After Fifty Years and We’re All Going to Miss You

Periodically you might encounter your double. Do not engage, especially for sex.

by Ryan Burkett
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April 2, 2025
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1

babysitter scared of the house

A Checklist for the Babysitter

The children do not eat fruits or vegetables. It’s important that they do not consume any kind of plant, nothing that has been grown of the earth.

by Ryan Burkett
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January 8, 2025

photographer

Sorry, This Friend Group Already Has a Photographer

Your deal is Polaroids, right? That’s cute. I don’t mean that in a condescending way.

by Ryan Burkett
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August 23, 2024