You see a small cottage at the edge of the field-- “A cottage? What is this? A visualization or something?”
What did any silverfish ever do to you? We’re barely able to stop ourselves from disintegrating into dust.
Everyone in the house could be pissing at the exact same time, which is something you could do if you wanted.
Only a knowledgeable spiritualist can help you escape the tormented wailing drain voices in your bathroom.
List: Questions a Pet Owner Asks about Puppy Bath Time or Questions My Showerhead Asks about My Bath Time
Should I be worried that she sometimes sits there with the water spraying her in the face?
Home Depot can sell you a mirror, but they can't make you see yourself. I've had plenty of time to think while you were crying over "Property Brothers."
Does he have his phone? A) Yes and he’s very active on a thread about sending things down "The Alaska Pipeline." B) Negative. There’s no 5G in 0g.
Set aside your worries caused by modern nuisances such as technology, automobiles, and the invention of antiseptics.
List: The Total Amount of Money in Each of Our Swear Jars Since 147 Chilean Rose Hair Tarantulas Invaded Our Home
Dining Room Swear Jar: $1 Dark Corner Of The Attic Swear Jar: $57 Home Office Swear Jar: $0
Some of my other ubiquitous work is "Call Your Mom" and "Single-Line, Semi-Erect Penis and Balls, With Hair Sprigs."
Can We Chat?, 5 PM: Hop off the couch and back on Zoom with a terse smile pasted to your face. Don’t forget to put your shirt back on!
Each time, I smugly think to myself, “I’m right on this time.” I am not right on. Not ever. It always seems to be further back than I think.