- Why does she complain when it’s time for a bath but then complain when it’s time to get out?
- Is it normal for her to drink water right out of the faucet? What about the bathwater?
- Her tummy is getting flabby. Is she eating too many treats?
- Should I be worried that she sometimes sits there with the water spraying her in the face?
- Why is she always trying to lick herself?
- She accidentally ate some soap. She’ll just poop that out, right?
- Sometimes she makes sounds like an aardvark gagging on a cueball. Is she singing?
- There’s one super long tuft of hair on her ass. Should it be trimmed?
- Is it okay for a nipple to be that shape?
- There’s a flaky patch of skin on her back. Is it bad that she keeps scratching at it?
- Sometimes she puts her head underwater and holds it there for a while. Is she testing fate?
- She tried to hump the faucet. Should she be introduced to a mate?
- Why does she cry so much?
- Did she mean to pee on her rubber ducky?
- Sometimes she paces back and forth in the tub. Is this from existential anxiety?
- Why is she always putting her crotch in my face?
- She chewed off part of her nail and swallowed it. Is that going to hurt when it comes back out?
- As soon as she’s wrapped up in the towel she starts to hump it. She needs a mate, right?
2, 5, 9, 10, 14, 18: Pet owner's questions
4, 7, 11, 13, 16: Showerhead's questions
1, 3, 6, 8, 17: Both
15: Might be both but I’m not a puppy so I really can’t say
12: Let’s pretend this is just about the puppy