I’ll do the blackened salmon—light butter, if possible—and what do we think, girls, margaritas? Should we get margaritas? I know it’s a weeknight, but we deserve it! Let’s be bad!

Oh lord, here comes my nemesis: the dessert menu! If I get a slice of the tres leches cake, you’ll all have a bite, right? Trish? Kath? You’ll both have a bite of the cake? Promise? Okay, let’s be bad! Let’s get dessert!

Whoa, is this the bill or my freaking phone number? I know we haven’t done this since we were kids, but what if we dined and dashed? Would that be crazy or what! Should we do it? Should we just bolt? Should we just flip them off and book it? Let’s be bad; we earned this!

God, what a rush! Did you see the hostess fall in the parking lot? Looks like she’s bleeding pretty bad, too. We should probably help her, but what if we be bad instead and just drive away? Should we straight-up drive away? If I get in the car, will you guys get in the car? You will? You’ll both get in the car? Yes! Let’s be bad, queens!

Ugh, we probably shouldn’t be driving this fast in a school zone, right? Especially after all those margaritas we drank? Since everything is spinning? No, you’re right, Trish, eff it! We’re being bad tonight! Crazy idea: Let’s go the wrong way down the highway! Let’s get a little wild! Let’s drive drunk the wrong way down the interstate! Yeah, on a weeknight; we’re so bad!

Confession time, chicas, I keep loaded guns in my glove compartment. I’m terrible! Should we use them to shoot out the tires of the police cars tailing us? If I shoot at the police, will you shoot at the police? Trish, if you aid, Kath, will you abet? OMG—we’re being so bad. Let’s shoot guns at the police!

Now the angel on my shoulder is saying, “There’s a massive state trooper blockade ahead of you, Rachel; stop the Lexus, and turn yourself in,” but the little devil is saying, “Be bad, bitch! Swerve off into that ravine!”

Okay, it’s been 72 hours since we ditched our on-fire car and evaded the state-wide manhunt by hiding in the woods… Y’all, we’ve been being so bad lately! Since it’s starting to snow, if I kill a bear and crawl inside of its body to stay warm tonight, will you guys also get in the bear? If I use this sharpened stick to slice open its belly, will you guys all get inside the hot, wet carcass? Trish? Kath? You’ll both get in the bear carcass? Amazing!

Aww, adorbs, a wolf pack has come to feast on the bear! And it looks like they respect us since we smell like its blood. Decision time, mamas, should we live amongst the wolves? Should we leave society behind and give in to our most base instincts? If I let my actions be guided only by carnal desire, would you also unbridle your id? Trish? Kath? You’d both lust for blood? Eeeek! Let’s turn away from God!

Woof woof, girls. Do you smell those hikers 50 yards away? Ugh, I’m already stuffed from that baby deer we just ate, but if I commanded the pack to attack those people, would you eat them with me? If I had some flesh, would you guys have some? You’d split a person with me? You’d all have a bite of person? Yay! Let’s do it! Let’s be bad!