I’m Pleased to Announce That This Party Has Been Canceled
Having many strangers come to my home was a poorly thought-out concept, and adding alcohol to the mix surely would have created hellfire.
Tag: Friends
I Insist You Stay with Me, and You’re Going to Hate It
I only have dry toast. Hope you like millet bread. I’ll just cut the mold off, and we’ll be good to go.
Welcome to the 2022 Pub Trivia Team Draft
Stakes are high, and friendships will be severed. But as Paul’s prominent bicep tattoo says, “All’s Fair in Love and Pub Trivia.”
Password Recovery Questions Written by Beth, Your High School Frenemy
What was the number of the locker where I left you anonymous notes saying you’d be pretty if you washed your face?
I Am the Wooden Board at That Gourmet Burger Restaurant, Here to Remind You That You Only Make $10 an Hour
You only made $200 this week, yet you STILL let your friends drag you here?
Hey, Do You Have an ETA Yet?
If you were one character from Lord of the Rings, who would you be? I’d be Gandalf because, like he says, “a wizard is never late,” lol.
Gifts from a Childhood Friend That Hint at Long Simmering Resentments
A hammock. Hanna, you know a hammock is a death trap because you laughed hysterically when I fell out of one in 7th grade at Trevor’s birthday party.
I Give In: I Would like to Purchase Some of Your Incredible Essential Oils
I am so tired. So worn down. I don't want to fight this anymore. Please. Send me a bottle of Lavender Serenity, because it's time to give in.
Our Friendship Has Been One Long, Intricate Plot to Get You to Subscribe to My Newsletter
I met you at a time of great need in my life. That need? More readers for my newsletter where I rank pizza shops based on taste, texture, and sauce ratio.
Old Friend, We Sure Have Made Something of Ourselves
You with your magnificent house you built yourself, two young healthy children, and a partner who loves you for who you are, and me with my podcast.
How to Install a New Air Conditioner Without Going to Prison for Involuntary Manslaughter
As long as one person is really big and the other person is kind of wirey, you can replace an air conditioner.
My Friend’s Dog Is Actually Super Awkward to Hang with When My Friend Isn’t Around
I swear this dog knows every command except "speak?" I'm always carrying the conversation!