List: Your County’s Updated Re-Opening Plan
Stage 3d: CDC advises to pick whichever conflicting news article or random blog post best matches your level of paranoia or recklessness.
Tag: Friends
List: Conversations I’d Rather Have Than the One Where We Talk about How Quarantine Has Made Us Lose Track of What Day It Is
The one where I try to explain to my conservative step-father who doesn’t see color that calling protestors "thugs" is racist.
COMM 1721: Introduction to Leading a Group of Strangers Through an Icebreaker Exercise
That mix of fear and resentment swirling in your gut? That’s how every icebreaker exercise should feel. You want your group to absolutely hate it.
List: The Difference Between the Meanings of Ethnic Names and White Names
Farvardin: One who protects the good and the pure / Wendy: Says "I love you" way too frivolously
List: Jane Austen’s Characters in Quarantine
Mr. Bingley - Headed back to his parents mansion the moment shit went down. Makes parody videos in front of his pool. Tanned—like, SO tanned.
Letterboxd Reviews: Movies I Don’t Know the Endings To but Reviewed Anyway
"The Sixth Sense": Bruce Willis is clearly only getting close to this kid so he can bang his mom. Case closed.
List: Unopened Quarantine Chain Emails
Re: Re: Re: Super Fun Quarantine Recipe Exchange Re: This will not work if everyone does not fwd this email to their closest 10 friends RIGHT NOW
The Kill Me Now Squad: Declassified Files
Kyle’s father just asked if “Post Malone is a sequel to Bugsy.” Agents remain locked and loaded as they stand by for further instruction.
“Go Ahead and Delete Facebook, But Good Luck Remembering When Your High School Bully’s Birthday Is” by Mark Zuckerberg
Facebook was started so I could have a way to stroke my wires to pics of humanoid-looking girls way out of my league—but don't tell Congress that!
Happy Birthday to My Father, Who Is Not on Social Media and Thus Will Never See This
I’ll try to bring a present. But really, isn’t the inevitable boost in social clout you and I will get from this post worth more than any gift?
I Am Your Houseplant and I Am Begging You to Leave Me Alone
For the last time, put the shears down and get a hobby already. Calligraphy. Magic. Something that doesn't involve innocent living things.
Conditions That Must Be Perfect for My Girlfriend and I to Have Sex
Phone ringer volume must be all the way down, so no one is distracted by a late call from Justin H. Each of us must be into our third Moscow Mule.