I’m Pleased to Announce That This Party Has Been Canceled
Having many strangers come to my home was a poorly thought-out concept, and adding alcohol to the mix surely would have created hellfire.
Having many strangers come to my home was a poorly thought-out concept, and adding alcohol to the mix surely would have created hellfire.
I only have dry toast. Hope you like millet bread. I’ll just cut the mold off, and we’ll be good to go.
Stakes are high, and friendships will be severed. But as Paul’s prominent bicep tattoo says, “All’s Fair in Love and Pub Trivia.”
What was the number of the locker where I left you anonymous notes saying you’d be pretty if you washed your face?
You only made $200 this week, yet you STILL let your friends drag you here?
If you were one character from Lord of the Rings, who would you be? I’d be Gandalf because, like he says, “a wizard is never late,” lol.
A hammock. Hanna, you know a hammock is a death trap because you laughed hysterically when I fell out of one in 7th grade at Trevor’s birthday party.
I am so tired. So worn down. I don't want to fight this anymore. Please. Send me a bottle of Lavender Serenity, because it's time to give in.
I met you at a time of great need in my life. That need? More readers for my newsletter where I rank pizza shops based on taste, texture, and sauce ratio.
You with your magnificent house you built yourself, two young healthy children, and a partner who loves you for who you are, and me with my podcast.
As long as one person is really big and the other person is kind of wirey, you can replace an air conditioner.
I swear this dog knows every command except "speak?" I'm always carrying the conversation!