Friends | Points in Case

Tag: Friends

Jason was kind of pissed that I spilled his hot sauce all over myself, but that’s why I wore an apron!

I gave him a "you know you're not supposed to do that" look and he replied with a "the assumption of inevitable or primal goodness is a myth" stare.

Lower self entirely to ground. Pick cute dog up overhead (regardless of size). Exclaim over cute dog’s cuteness. Take 3 to 25 pictures of cute dog.

I still remember that first taste, the delicious mouth-feel of the words, the surprising burn as they went down.

LD: pig emoji LD: did that work LD: do u see a pigRW: Laura I’m not seeing one!!! RW: does anyone else see a pig?!

I separate emotion from logic and wield my mighty Trident of Critical Thinking, which is a normal trident that I use to emphasize my pronouncements.

Battlefield Of Nothing Special: where our nation’s soldiers duked it out for no good reason, and left a legacy that no one can put their finger on.

You will know it is your Town Hall when we remove your blindfold and handcuffs and you find yourself seated across from Anderson Cooper.

An orange squid has entered my dreams, watching me practice my ascending spin and barrel sculls with languid disinterest. I cannot banish him.

The one where Phoebe divorces Mike after falling in love with Chrissie Hynde, and Tulsi Gabbard officiates at their wedding.