RAMS OVER TRAMS

PROPOSE RAIL, GO TO JAIL

THE MOB IS RISING

AGAINST CONGESTION PRICING
WHY CAN’T YOU SEE
MAN WAS BORN FREE
TO GET IN HIS TRUCK
AND RUSH INTO GRIDLOCK

FEEL THE PAIN IN YOUR BICYCLE LANE
WHILE I DRIVE BY PRAYING FOR RAIN

KEEP YOUR TRAM IN AMSTERDAM

CITY COMMISSIONER WANTS A METROLINK
LET’S PUT THAT COMMIE IN THE CLINK

HENRY FORD IS OUR LORD
HE HAS BUILT A MOVING FORT
FOR THE AMERICAN GLADIATOR
WITH A BIG GULP AND BACONATOR
HEAR THE MIGHTY ENGINE ROAR
LIKE A LION ON THE COLISEUM FLOOR

IF YOU WALK TO TARGET, YOU ARE THE TARGET

BUSES ARE FOR WUSSES
TRAINS ARE FOR DANES
ALL YOUR BIKES AND BUSES
WON’T TAKE OUR LANES

METROLOOP SMELLS LIKE POOP

BICYCLE LOBBY, GET ANOTHER HOBBY

FREE AS AN EAGLE
OR LEASHED LIKE A BEAGLE
CHOOSE THE AUTOMOBILE
FOR THAT FREEDOM FEEL

THERE’S NOTHING FINE ABOUT A SUBWAY LINE

IF IT DOESN’T GO VROOOM
IT’S MUCH TOO SOON
WHAT MAKES AMERICA FUNCTION
IS A SPAGHETTI JUNCTION

WAIT IN VAIN FOR THE TRAIN
LET KING CAR TAKE YOU FAR

CHOO-CHOO MAKES YOU GO BOO-HOO
THE BUS MAKES YOU CUSS
A FERRY WON’T MAKE YOU MERRY
AND NO ONE’S JOLLY ON A TROLLEY

DON’T COME BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS RAM

TRAIN RHYMES WITH RAIN
TRAM RHYMES WITH SHAM
AND RAIL RHYMES WITH JAIL
OUR CONCLUSION IS SIMPLE:
ANY TRANSIT THAT IS COLLECTIVE
LEAVES YOU WET, CHEATED, AND CAPTIVE

THEY VOTED FOR A DESIGNATED BUS LANE
THOSE SOCIALISTS ARE ALL INSANE
ROAD GRABBERS BELONG IN AN ASYLUM
WE’LL DRIVE ‘EM THERE WHEN WE FIND ‘EM

EVEN ON JUPITER AND MARS, THE ROADS ARE FOR CARS

MANY PEOPLE IN THE STREET
PEDESTRIANS HAVE SUCH TENDER MEAT
FROM STOMPING AROUND ON THEIR FEET
AND NOW MY SUV WANTS TO EAT

DODGE WON’T BUDGE

GIVE ME A DRIVE-THRU
AND A PARKING LOT VIEW
NOTHING LIKE HIGHWAY DINING
AMONG CHROME GRILLES SHINING

I WAS MADE IN A CHEVROLET
AND I’LL GO BACK IN A CADILLAC
TO MEET MY LORD IN HIS FORD
CHRYSLER, DODGE & BUICK, WHAT CAN I SAY?
GOD BLESS THE HIGHWAYS OF THE USA!