There’s Nothing in the Rulebook That Says a Man Can’t Play in an All-Dog Basketball League
It all started last week when I dropped off Coco at the rec center for practice. As I was leaving, the ball rolled in my direction.
Tag: Animals
Diary Entries from the Eagle Recently Hired to Eat Prometheus’s Immortal Liver for Eternity
My office’s view (a frozen summit in the Scythian Mountains) is gorg. But the taste of raw liver is growing bland.
I Know We Don’t All See Eye-to-Eye About the Office Cobra
We all know the cobra has been part of our company since its very beginning, back in that little office over the combined schnitzel house and shoe repair.
Longest Sentences Produced by a Monkey I Borrowed Money From but Never Paid Back
Money? Money? Money? Excuse me. Money? Money? Money? You. Give. Now. Money. Me.
Anxious Gift Givers: What They Say vs. What They Mean
I fear both your and your golden retriever’s rejection. The gift receipt to the anthropomorphic hot dog chew toy is my only source of comfort.
Your Campsite Report Card, as Written by the Bear About to Eat You
Noise: B+ Before the screaming, you were doing great.
Facts About the Underappreciated Housefly
Moths are houseflies in wool cardigans.
I’m the Inventor of Horse Idioms and You’re Misusing Every Single One
A one horse town isn’t some village out in the boonies. Do you know how many horses there are in the boonies? Tons.
Redwall Characters: Where Are They Now?
Slagar the Cruel is considered a front runner for the 2028 Republican primary.
Open Letter from a Mountain Lion to Hiking Influencers
But first I would like to know, oh rugged manchild, how sharing my arch on your “internet” sakes the human purpose.
I’m a Literal Fish out of Water and the Hardest Part About Adapting to This Strange New World Is the Asphyxia
But I think the biggest difference I've noticed so far is the agonizing asphyxia. I mean, talk about culture shock!
Bug Fixes for Bugs
Bees transition from absolute monarchy to a constitutional democracy. The Queen exists only for ceremonial purposes.