Animals | Points in Case

Tag: Animals

And your chicken nuggets are shaped like Shrek. How old are these things? They haven’t promoted a Shrek movie since 2010.

Works hard but makes no money / Loves avocado and salmon breakfasts / Obsessed with filtered water / Goes on many long, sad walks

First there was a cluck-cluck here, then a cluck-cluck there, but soon my nightmares were filled with the cooings and cawings of the foulest fowl.

Clara, stop pecking the sound guy! I’m sorry, Clara has recently developed a taste for human flesh.

Together, you and I shall become pioneers of pest control vexation by breaking down what I call "The Art of Infestation."

In 1903, Theodore Roosevelt announces an open boxing challenge to any willing swamp rabbit. In 1911, William Howard Taft eats a swamp rabbit.

Weak and easily preyed upon, the Sickly Spotted Woody Pecker has evolved to compensate for its innate physical disadvantages.

Shaggy interrupts Jesus to say that he is just like him: he doesn’t have bones, but rather, Scooby Snacks shaped like bones.

3. Make sure to shout, "BIG CATS!" in a fake Southern accent every 47 minutes no matter where you are.

I feel like Elvis when he returned to Graceland after 40 years of guiding climbers as a Sherpa in Tibet. That didn’t happen, but you get the point.

"There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is Godzilla." –Albert Camus / "I came. I saw Godzilla. I ran away." –Julius Caesar

I’d ask someone to save me from this giant octopus, but how do I know their hands aren’t contaminated?