Animals | Points in Case

Tag: Animals

Taurus: The Seneca Park Zoo believes they don’t need a sign telling people not to swim in the polar bear enclosure. You will prove them wrong.

If you don’t keep the dead dogs in the freezer, Doctor Snuggles will devour all the dogs in one sitting. He's a huge pig. Aren’t you my little pig?

How is communicating in sign language, walking on sand trails, or keeping your children in soundproof rooms, really that different from recycling?

I know I certainly didn't fight my way through twelve miles of wilderness with no face to allow big government to turn all of our kids autistic.

In the event of a water landing, beneath your seat is a compartment that contains a credit card application in a waterproof pouch.

I am the only one with fingers, so I have the job of breaking sticks in two and putting them in a pile. I have also been designated a “performer.”

You're always freelancing from home, which means your cat has to watch you and dart away when you notice. So there goes her whole day.

Look in vain for a menu, it is torn and stained with tears. There are no specials, ever, only monotonous offerings of tasteless food.

Wetland restoration is about creating a clean, oxygen-rich pit so that a seven-headed behemoth might emerge from its depths and enslave us all.

Unfortunately, as you know, I want to rub my penis on everything in sight. I'm like 85% of men in show business: I'm a monster.