Who I Am Now That I Accidentally Ordered Myself Black Silk Bed Sheets
There is currently a Starburst-flavored C4 energy drink wedged underneath the brake pedal of my car.
Tag: Lists
Alternative Forms of Voter ID for Each State
North Carolina, Tennessee, Missouri, Arkansas — A bottle of your signature barbecue sauce (signature must be on bottle)
What the Office Supplies You Steal from Work Say About You
Paper Clips (Smooth Finish): You know the best jazz bars. Your turntable was designed by a Nasa engineer. You run marathons but don’t appear to sweat.
More Accurate Names for Make-Out Point, Based on My Adolescence
Body Spray Bay / Strictly Cuddles Cliff / Not-So-Fast Fjord
It’s Just Water
Thirst-quenching lightly carbonated infused with a blend of tropical fruits enhanced with vitamins and minerals perfectly natural and good for you.
A School Supply List Teeming with Existential Dread
3 washable school "Sure, I’m sticky now, but I’ll eventually be left out to dry" glue sticks
Catcalls from the Final Days Before Doomsday Destruction
Hey girl, let me get your number, along with any additional resources you might have lying around, like a spare oxygen tank.
Are You Playing a Board Game or Bored in a Meeting?
Someone in the room is acting as a leader, and no one is having it
It Would Be Pointless to Try These Ineffective Tongue Twisters
This Café Makes All The Espresso, I Guess / Sacrifice Something So Grandma Can Leave
Conversation Topics Short Enough to Complete with My Barber While I, a Nearly Entirely Bald 55-Year-Old Man, Get My Hair Cut
Good reasons for anyone, anywhere, under any circumstances, to buy, make, or consume a blueberry bagel.
Book Jacket Testimonials or British Kennel Club Breed Standards?
Warm and wide-ranging and wise, a wonderful companion. Plenty of substance but free of clumsiness. Neither cloddy nor cobby.
Interview Questions for Potential Employers Who Refuse to Reveal the Salary
The job description mentioned “complimentary fruit." Could you please elaborate? As in, what fruit are we talking about?