9:34 A.M.: Main character energy just like my momma taught me until she calls to confirm I am still unwed and childless Papa Roach Friday morning. Try some: I’m not a girl I’m a woman boss, emo laundry day at mom’s house

2:44 P.M.: Sad girl where is my hubba bubblegrunge corporate bluesy Friday afternoon. Try some: can legitimate men wear muscle tees, what is a pre-nup

7:23 P.M.: Ninth-wheeling with well drinks wagon wheel nostalgia Friday evening. Try some: late stage capitalism for liberal white women, what do people use wagons for

8:17A.M.: Baking blueberry muffins coastal grandmother sweater bops Saturday early morning. Try some: no blue is as blue as the blueberry, is this poetry

11:27 A.M.: Hot muffin man at farmers market cute meets unshowered hipster Saturday morning. Try some: nursery rhymes but for sexy, if an eggplant could talk what would it say

2:28 P.M.: Blueberry muffin binge because not-that-hot muffin man is married heartbroken and alone Saturday afternoon. Try some: has anyone shoved a blueberry up the ass, how many muffins does it take to get fat

5:04 P.M.: Pleasant park voyage forcing muffins on stranger’s kids because I have none melancholia Saturday early evening. Try some: swinging through suffering, how to really tie a shoe right

3:33 A.M.: Emergency room fluorescent haze with the kids allergic to blueberries trauma bonding Saturday late night. Try some: scrubs are just pajamas, where are the hot doctors

5:44 P.M.: Austere prison cell bittersweet concrete-vibes Sunday evening. Try some: elvis’ cousin’s jailbreak jingles, how to dig a hole with a plastic spoon

2:23 A.M.: On the lam don’t tell my mom van lyfe Sunday late night. Try some: freedom

8:04 A.M.: Scary dog country where is the la croix uneasy listening Monday morning. Try some: back to work wardrobe, last resort playlist, scars