• Shows up unannounced, as disheveled as a riverside hobbit, and screams for my precious
  • Enters the room and immediately grasps for my precious without washing her filthy hands
  • When saying my precious, her vocal fry sends you into a murderous rage
  • Gossips critically about you behind your back but acts obsequious to your face and only ever has praise for my precious
  • Meddles to the point of seriously disrupting the family dynamic—you’re not even sure where your better-half is
  • Adds the letter “s” to ends of words and uses the royal we in some warped baby-like language since the new arrival
  • Promises to show you the way but somehow also suffocatingly follows you around
  • Seems hundreds of years old, but also laser-eyed with pinpointed hearing and swears my precious is calling to her
  • Can see only herself in my precious
  • Makes others around her solidly uncomfortable with her single-minded focus and not infrequent outbursts—has she even showered?
  • Ignores personal boundaries, including watching you sleep with my precious
  • You keep thinking she’ll go back to her hovel, but she insists on living as close as she can to my precious and even suggests a communal living arrangement
  • Has been utterly transformed by my precious and would willingly die for it inside a volcano