You’re gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it.

You’re gonna like the way you look. And if you don’t, let’s just say we have ways to make you like the way you look. I fucking guarantee it.

We have ways of making you like the way you look. Mostly they involve joining our rewards program and meeting us in a gravel parking lot under a bridge in Bayonne every second Tuesday of the month.

Are you saying you don’t like the way you look? Well, I’m gonna have my guys Vinny Doublechins and Paulie Thinlips make you like the way you look and they’re gonna make it look like an accident.

You’re gonna like the way you look. Or, we’re gonna have a little chat about it in the employee lounge over coffee and cakes. Vinny, lock the doors.

If you don’t like the way you look, maybe you’d like to join our Loyalty Program. Loyalty is something we take very seriously around here.

A mutual friend of ours says you don’t like the way you look and you doubt whether we guarantee it. Maybe you should check the fine print on that fucking guarantee.

I thought we had a little understanding about the way you were gonna look. Are you saying the Calvin Klein slim-fit three-piece tux wasn’t clear enough?

We can do this one of two ways. You’re gonna like the way you look. Or someone’s going to scrape you off the pavement on Route 46 near the diner where Vinny gets his apple pie warmed up. How’s that for subtle?

You wearing a wire under that suit? Because that’s not covered under our tailoring policy. And is that wire from our new Fall Accessories rack? Honestly, it’s very you.

Let’s just say the boss strongly suggests you check out our collection of casual tops. Right this way. It’s just behind the dumpster near the ditch we dug for you.

You’re really not gonna like the way you look after I rearrange your ocular bone with this Calvin Klein Double Loop Leather Belt. Also, did my associate mention that you can save 20% when you bundle your next two Men’s Wearhouse purchases?

Would you be interested in our Family Plan? The Family gets 20% off the top of whatever you don’t like the way you look in.

You’re gonna like the way you look. But you’re really gonna like the free shipping we offer on purchases over $199. If you don’t, let’s just say we know a guy. And his return policy, of your severed fingers, is ironclad.