Say, what do you reckon they were thinking when they built such an itty-bitty town in the first place?
Would you look at that… So typical of a Lexus to take up as much room as humanly possible. Total road hog.
When I married my wife, I assumed all of her knowledge. That's how marriage works. Marriage means sharing everything.
I’m checking out your fine-ass certifications, baby, and damn you’re proficient.
Abrasions and trace amounts of stucco on knuckles indicate he had punched a wall in the last 8 hours.
Maybe you’ve wondered to yourself while mowing your lawn, “Hey, why isn’t my backyard shaped more like a shaft and two balls?”
You're a master of your craft. No, not the hazy IPA you're drinking, but you're a master of that too.
Grab a vegan smoothie, plunge your feet into a bucket of ice, and allow yourself, like an eager guppy, to be reeled in by Tim Ferriss.
Kyle and Derek began training me on all subject matters of the world like philosophy and what Derek would refer to as “dank-ass internet shitposts.”
6:00 AM: VOICE AS WEAPON! Silence any interfering neighbor with necessary action.
Summer 312 AD: Constantine Wins and Finds Jesus: Beating your nemesis and then becoming sanctimonious about it? 312 AD was a classic WBS.
Congrats on your new academic article, though I should really be congratulating myself because the version of your I wrote in my head is much better.