Abrasions and trace amounts of stucco on knuckles indicate he had punched a wall in the last 8 hours.
Maybe you’ve wondered to yourself while mowing your lawn, “Hey, why isn’t my backyard shaped more like a shaft and two balls?”
You're a master of your craft. No, not the hazy IPA you're drinking, but you're a master of that too.
Grab a vegan smoothie, plunge your feet into a bucket of ice, and allow yourself, like an eager guppy, to be reeled in by Tim Ferriss.
Kyle and Derek began training me on all subject matters of the world like philosophy and what Derek would refer to as “dank-ass internet shitposts.”
6:00 AM: VOICE AS WEAPON! Silence any interfering neighbor with necessary action.
Summer 312 AD: Constantine Wins and Finds Jesus: Beating your nemesis and then becoming sanctimonious about it? 312 AD was a classic WBS.
Congrats on your new academic article, though I should really be congratulating myself because the version of your I wrote in my head is much better.
After a big fight, he usually: A) Shotguns a Four Loko in a gas station parking lot B) Chugs a pint of Fireball on your front yard
As a dude who’s got a bachelor's in biz dev, a 2.6 GPA, and has read most of the first quarter of "Infinite Jest," this shouldn't be all that hard.
I Know What Hunts Youcalyptus Mint -- An incisive blend that weaves a piercing mint with a feisty eucalyptus connotation.
I did see you hiding (hard to miss the shape of my useless husband with his big dumb flip-flopped feet sticking out from behind the drapes).