Style Guide for the Single Male’s Bathroom
Shower curtain that looks like the bottom was dragged through a swamp in Chernobyl, and the top is detached from at least three rings.
Tag: Men
Husband Life: Heroic Fantasies Versus Reality
Fantasy: Emotionally, I am more stable than a 1000-year-old Sequoia. Reality: I faked a cat allergy when my wife caught me crying at Toy Story 3.
A Mid-Life Crisis in the Middle Ages
I no longer wish to ride an aging plow horse. And yet, when I ride to the horse dealer and request a sleek, red mustang, I am met with ridicule.
An Open Letter to the Man Who Catcalled Me from a Razor Scooter
Be still my heart, for chivalry is not dead—merely wheezing along at three miles per hour.
Action Needed, RE: “The Incident”
At what point did you realize the graphic I was drawing bore a loose resemblance to male genitalia? Please complete the following sentence: "After I drew _____."
You Can Trust Me—I’m a Man Wearing Many Rings
I’m not like other guys. I’ve embraced my feminine side. Don’t you see my many rings?
Dispatches from My Dad’s Visit to a Civil War Battlefield
Just glancing at this green expanse makes me burst with joy. It is the same feeling I had on my wedding day, and on the day you were born.
Gentlemen, It’s Been an Honor Smelling Candles with You All in This HomeGoods Today
It goes without saying that when you've sniffed wax with as many husbands in home décor stores as I have, you tend to get jaded.
The Thing About My Non-Committal Boyfriend Is That He Was Hurt in a Previous Relationship Also He Can’t Close His Eyes Completely like a Furby
He was broken up with once, so we can’t expect him to be anywhere on time, as planned, or wearing an outfit appropriate for the occasion.
Catcalls from the Final Days Before Doomsday Destruction
Hey girl, let me get your number, along with any additional resources you might have lying around, like a spare oxygen tank.
Of Course I Have a Bottle Opener on Me, It’s My Entire Personality
I’m a bit of a superhero, if you think about it. I’ve got all sorts of bottle openers on me at all times.
Our Neighborhood Watch Is Just a Guy Holding a Plastic Bag Watching Women Parallel Park
We dispatch a man with a plastic bag (full of loose Arizona iced teas) to stare at her so hard she gets the dry sweats.