Signs Your Mother-in-Law Is Transforming Into Gollum Upon Seeing Her First Grandbaby
When saying my precious, her vocal fry sends you into a murderous rage
Tag: Babies
Baby Not Sleeping? My Online Course Can Help!
The 2-Month Regression: Your baby is developing so fast! Too fast, actually.
We’re Trying for a Nepo Baby
But this time we’re producing our biggest blockbuster yet—our sweet, precious nepo baby!
So Your Three-Year-Old Is a Masshole
Kayley blows past two seniors on recumbent trikes, yelling, “Get off the Pike, ya shitheads! This lane’s fa passin’!”
A Month-by-Month Guide to Your Baby’s First Existential Milestones
2 months: Reaches for objects despite knowing they will only end up possessing him in return
Times I Have Suspected My Therapist Might Be a Baby
Have you tried burping? What about being burped? It’s okay to be small and fragile sometimes. Or all the time.
Mount Sinai Hospital Labor and Delivery Unit Class of January ’24 Reunion
Yeah, Mama and I have been good. Just the daily grind, trying to bang out those milestones. You know how it is. Starting to roll over, yep.
Your Baby Shower Isn’t About Me—But It Should Be
We don't even know him, what if this kickass party goes to waste because your baby ends up being a loser or something?
My Child Is Perfect, Even Though He’s a Venomous Gila Monster
I don’t appreciate your judgment. You hurt me deeper than any wound my son has inflicted with his sharp claws.
14 Tips for Raising an Under-Litigious Baby
When you sing to your baby please use public-domain music.
No, I Didn’t Name My Child Michael Jordackson So He’d Aspire for Greatness as an NBA Player or World-Renowned Musician
I just happen to like the smooth sound of “Michael Jordackson.” It’s got a nice ring to it.
Top Ten Reasons My Fedora Is Better than Your Ugly-Ass Baby
My fedora is almost always silent, but your kid starts screaming just because I flick him in both his eyes? Toughen up, Henry.