We’re Trying for a Nepo Baby
But this time we’re producing our biggest blockbuster yet—our sweet, precious nepo baby!
Comedy Writing
Registry Items I, the Virgin Mary, Would and Wouldn’t Buy Again If I Were Giving Birth to the (Next) Son of God
WOULD: Portable Manger. Mamas, this is a must. I loved having this when I was praying, prostrating, or getting my nails done with the girls.
Why I, a 10-Year-Old Alpha Male, Am Now Anti-Cooties Vaccine
It’s not your typical low-grade fever or boo-boo that goes away after your mom kisses it.
As a Millennial, I’ll Never Be Able to Own a House: The Complete Series DVD Box Set
But the more upsetting headlines I skim, the more likely it seems the dream of enjoying a career-best performance by Hugh Laurie is out of reach.
The U.S. Begs England to Take Them Back
It blows my mind that we used to be one country, isn’t that wild? But enough about me. Tell me what have you been up to?
Everything I Missed Out On While My Glasses Were Fogged Up
The “Seat Yourself” sign in a totally empty restaurant, so I stood awkwardly at the host stand for 15 minutes.
For Our Wedding, Please Buy Us Useless Kitchen Shit Off Our Registry
When we envision our future together, we can’t see it unless the $175 egg separator we picked out in Crate & Barrel is there with us.
I’m a Rubber Duck and I’m Resigning from My Position at Bathtub Inc.
I learned a lot in my four years as Vice President of Relaxation in the Hygiene Department, I wanted to offer some reasons why I’m departing.
8 New Amazon Prime Benefits to Make You Forget About Their Bad Working Conditions
Amazon is taking union-busting to another level. Starting next month, they’ll roll out a new feature to help customers get out of hopeless marriages.
Mrs. Claus Serves Santa Divorce Papers
At 1,559 years old, I’m not getting any younger. And a woman has to do what she can to make it through this cold, ice-hard world.
“Would You Mind If I Picked Your Brain?” From a Zombie on LinkedIn
As a current job seeker, I would love nothing more than to find out what exactly those thoughts are in that big, juicy brain of yours.
I’m the Screaming Baby on an Airplane—It’s a Tough Crowd Here
What’s the deal with rattles nowadays? Seems to me like a poor excuse for jangly keys! Oh, wait– can someone bring me a bottle?