A Toddler’s Guide to Chess
The queen travels around the board very fast, knocking over the other pieces, sometimes singing "Let It Go" from Disney’s Frozen.
Tag: Babies
5 Baby Registry Must-Haves in Today’s Climate Crisis
Baby wearing is very in right now. You can do the dishes, vacuum, or paddle a lifeboat out of your flooded neighborhood.
Is It a Baby, a Small Dog, or Something Else Entirely in That Stroller/Reversible Bassinet/All-In-One Travel System?
While doing a forward bend in the local park, you smell… A) Doggy breath B) Baby poop C) Your name being added to a new Slack channel
What to Do if Your Mother Keeps Hinting that You, The One True Begotten Son of God, Should Really Give Her Grandkids Already
Every Chanukah for the past seven years she kept telling you she doesn't want you to buy her anything, with “BUY” and “THING” in air quotes.
The Comments Section of a Wholesome Video of a Puppy and a Baby
“Do we even know if the parents adopted this puppy? What if they stole it? Is this baby even theirs? You can’t believe everything you read online!!”
15 Printed Onesies Worn by Babies Who Will Eventually Struggle to Move Up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
25% Mommy, 25% Daddy, 25% Mommy’s Yoga Coach, 15% Daddy’s Secretary, 5% Tinder Guy Who Was Into Daddy and Daddy’s Secretary, 5% Lube, 100% PERFECT ME!
Simple Lines to Drop for Getting Out of Babysitting Your Friends’ New Baby
Have you seen that Dateline episode about the swimming babies? / Anyone can breastfeed, right? / He'll fit right in my backpack!
Other Historic Calamities Caused by Gender Reveal Parties
World War I (1914-1918) – Bosnian-Herzegovian couple Davud and Emina give their guests blue toy guns to fire into the streets of Sarajevo.
How to React to an Ugly Baby
Step 1: Show your authentic surprise. When you unexpectedly encounter an infantile grotesquerie like that one over there, you will feel shocked.
Workplace Benefits Explained by a Toddler
Health Benefits: You go to the nurse and it's free! She gives you lollipop when you leave and 6 pats on back for good job not crying over bill.
Every Day I Pray Someone Will Shit in the Pool
I am a swim coach for kids. That’s right, I spend my shifts in a cesspool of germs and boogers.
Human Infant Parenting Tips from the Year 3521
Clear your neural browser cache before interfacing with your child’s subconscious. Good neural hygiene begins in your own prefrontal cortex!