Follow-Up Questions About Your Answer to the Security Question “Who Was Your Childhood Best Friend?”
PARTIALLY CORRECT. Trapper Keepers were rad. However, Krista never “shared” one with you.
Comedy Writing
Scenic Spots for Staging Your Own Death Before a Late Summer Wedding
To pull off the ruse, hook your David’s Bridal dress on one of the striated rocks protruding from the cliffside. Make sure it really snags and tears.
I Am the Beaten Path, and I Resent That You’re So Hell Bent on Getting Off Me
Getting walked all over is one thing. But being abandoned is what hurts me most of all.
Things to Eat Instead of Grape-Nuts®
Your own teeth, pulsed a few times in the Cuisinart. / Tiny blue gravel from the fish tank you haven’t cleaned out since your guppy, Lucy, died.
What Can We Expect from the Next Installment of “Sex and the City”?
Carrie’s new side hustle is: A) Monetizing her signature monologues with a TED Talk! B) Renting out rooms in her apartment on Airbnb.
Top Zoom Wedding Gifts of 2020
Subscription to the Nonrefundable Security Deposit Wine of the Month Club – Let them drown their sorrows with Funk Band Bordeaux or Bouquet of Rosé.
Other Historic Calamities Caused by Gender Reveal Parties
World War I (1914-1918) – Bosnian-Herzegovian couple Davud and Emina give their guests blue toy guns to fire into the streets of Sarajevo.
Is Your Child a Cactus, a Sourdough Starter, or a Dildo?
What does your child do for fun? A) Mescaline. B) Sits quietly while parents read NYT Cooking section. C) Derives enjoyment from pleasing others.