Human Infant Parenting Tips from the Year 3521
Clear your neural browser cache before interfacing with your child’s subconscious. Good neural hygiene begins in your own prefrontal cortex!
Tag: Babies
To the Man Selling His Dead Baby’s Shoes
What on earth caused you to decide that the appropriate response to this tragedy was selling your dead baby's shoes in the local newspaper?
Chinese Biophysics Researcher He Jiankui or God?
Most people aren’t comfortable with the genetic modification of life, but He isn’t bothered by what most people think. / He works in mysterious ways.
What to Do if the Little Drummer Boy Shows Up at Your Local Maternity Ward
It's confusing that this boy thinks a drum solo is an appropriate gift for anyone---let alone an infant. That’s what makes him so dangerous.
Thinkpiece: Baby Name, or Warby Parker Glasses?
Wilcox - Say hello to Wilcox! Your newest member of the household comes in Smoky Bourbon or Teal.
16 Low-Cost Activities to Recreate the Comfort of the Womb
Wrap yourself from the neck down in Saran Wrap, and then ask a friend to spray lukewarm water between you and the plastic with a garden hose.
I Don’t Want Children but I Am Sad That I’ll Never Gain the Miraculous Strength to Lift a Car Off a Baby
My mom has always wanted me to lift cars like she did: a hatchback off my sister, an SUV off my brother, and the family van off me.
I’m Using My Nephew’s Onesies to Propagate My Political Agenda
I send Joey down the slide delivering truth bombs like: GRAMMY SPOILS ME---AT LEAST SHE WOULD IF CONGRESS WASN’T PILFERING HER SOCIAL SECURITY.
It Was Hot Girl Summer, Now It’s Early Pregnancy Fall!
Enjoy hiding your emerging pregnancy bump under cozy oversized sweaters and finding the best OBG/YN for your star sign.
I Refuse to Be the Only One Responsible for Mom’s Birthday Present
I don’t need to remind you about the “Flower Pot Fiasco," the “Macaroni Art Disaster," or the “I Thought It Wasn’t Until Next Month” flop.
10 Under “This Many”: Meet the Toddlers Who are Crushing Cannes
Mabel has seen it all. She started in shapes, but quickly moved onto colors before being promoted to Creative Director within a year.
Alabama State Senator or The Bachelorette Contestant?
Garrett P. is from Birmingham and looking for love. Dan R. is from Birmingham and does not care that there is less than 25% support for banning abortion.