How Was Your Experience with Our Customer Experience Survey?
Any levels of satisfaction that we failed to offer as responses? e.g. sorta satisfied, existentially satisfied, really-good-peach satisfied, etc.
Comedy Writing
If Rick Allen Can Drum for Def Leppard with One Arm, Then Surely I Can Install This Backsplash
A poorly installed backsplash could actually DECREASE the value of my home, but did Rick Allen hire some “licensed professional” to do his drumming?
I’m a Serial Killer and Burberry Just Discontinued My Signature Strangling Scarf
With so many murders happening each year, it’s extremely difficult to develop and sustain a calling card that’s distinct.
I May Be a Big Nobody, but My Vote Counts Just as Much as Yours, Mary-Kate (Or Ashley) Olsen
When we step into that partitioned desk and face that confusing-as-hell democracy apparatus, we’re ALL America’s Sweethearts.
I’m Using My Nephew’s Onesies to Propagate My Political Agenda
I send Joey down the slide delivering truth bombs like: GRAMMY SPOILS ME---AT LEAST SHE WOULD IF CONGRESS WASN’T PILFERING HER SOCIAL SECURITY.
A Word from the Guy Who Shouted “Woo!” during the Guitar Solo of Eric Clapton’s “Layla” Unplugged
Most of the rubes don’t figure out it’s a cover until the vocals come in, at which point everyone cheers like an idiot and I let out a huge scoff.