Everyone Is Focusing on Me Dressing as a Grannie to Steal the Vaccine and Not on My Sick-Ass Costume
We researched it, okay? This wasn’t some half-ass throw on a scarf and call yourself Edna, intro-to-theatre-101 skit.
Comedy Writing
I Am Your Smartphone Sitting in a Bag of Rice
Am I OK? What do you care? You’re just thinking, “Did anyone like the bikini pic I posted at the pool before I ALMOST KILLED MY BEST FRIEND?”
The Comments Section of a Wholesome Video of a Puppy and a Baby
“Do we even know if the parents adopted this puppy? What if they stole it? Is this baby even theirs? You can’t believe everything you read online!!”
An Open Letter of Gratitude to My Anxiety
You make me better. You make me ask the tough questions, like do I have rabies, and is the baby giraffe at the zoo mad at me?
New York City’s Most Unpowerful Couples
Brick, 47, screaming Mets fan and Chester, 42, crying Jets fan: These two brilliantly built their own empires, but still make time for each other.
We’ll Tell You How These Women’s Lives Turned Out Based on the Winter Coat They Wore in 6th Grade
Leather Jacket – Doesn’t believe in monogamy but has lived with one boyfriend for six years; sleeps with phone on the bed, it has its own pillow.
A Day in the Life of a Hollywood Assistant in Quarantine
Charge your own phone so it is 207% charged at all times. It is important because you need to keep reminding the boss to charge her own phone.
Bear in Hibernation or Millennial in Quarantine?
Works hard but makes no money / Loves avocado and salmon breakfasts / Obsessed with filtered water / Goes on many long, sad walks
How to Make Every Interaction About Netflix’s “Tiger King”
3. Make sure to shout, "BIG CATS!" in a fake Southern accent every 47 minutes no matter where you are.