With each passing day, her resolve grows weaker. She begins to wonder if the girl above will once again leave her in peace.
Isabel is a Zoom graduate of the class of 2020 and an ex-anthropology major. She’s known for writing plays and comedy things that make her grandmother say “I just don’t understand”.
Funny men attract hot women and funny women attract hate comments on Twitter.
The worst part about being blonde is that people assume you’re having fun.
“That’s show biz, kid,” I whisper to myself after making yet another decision I know will make my life worse but definitely more interesting.
“I can fix him,” says the vet, examining my new pet Rottweiler who ruthlessly humps anything in his path.
“Girls will be girls” I say as a drive over my neighbor’s curb and into her petunias for the second time this summer (:
A lot of people think that because I’m blonde I’m going to say something stupid or ignorant, but the truth is I’m going to say something stupid or ignorant because I have a liberal arts degree and an inflated sense of self-worth.
Oh, so when roosters wake up and immediately start screaming it’s “nature” but when I do it it’s “disturbing”?
There can only be one girl boss, the rest are just girl associates.
Being bisexual and anxious means everyone is a potential partner but also a potential threat.
“You’re not like other girls….”
Actually, raging IBS is pretty common among women.
Weed lets you live in the moment but only because you can’t remember what happened two seconds ago and because weed lets you live in the moment but only because you can’t remember what happened two seconds ago because weed lets you live in the–
We have to stop telling little girls they need to know how to cook and clean if they want to attract a good husband; it’s 2021: if you want to attract a good husband, you work on your Borat impression.
I want a trench coat so other writers will take me seriously and flashers will see me as competition.
The New York Times will say “Breaking News!” then tell you news that is still intact.