After learning that Big Bird’s top four films on Letterboxd were American, Jeremy forced Big Bird to undergo something called “Bergman Boot Camp.”
Q: Do I have to call Pete Davidson "Dad"? A: No one will ever replace your biological father, but Pete Davidson will be around to keep your mom company.
Broadcast of a Baseball Game Between Dads Checking on a Sound in the Middle of the Night with Baseball Bats and Louisville Slugger Factory Workers Who Test Bats for Quality Assurance
The dads effectively hit everything except the ball causing a lot of property damage while the factory workers could not settle on a bat.
Their parents, who are never in town, don’t answer my emails, so parent-teacher conferences are as big a joke as life insurance in this town.
Pray especially for those of us who have screamed "SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM TRYING TO MEDITATE" at our children.
We appreciate you're probably busy. And trust us, we're normally never this needy in ransoms.
My own spider (Cecil) was like the son I never had. Actually, I have a human son, but he's been quite a disappointment to me.
Did you grow up in a modest house, or the suburbs, or a brownstone, or a symbolically dilapidated mansion?
I Miss the Days When Men Were Men and Women Were Something Strange and Terrible We Don’t Dare Discuss
Things were easier then. Parents were parents, children were children, and unlike today’s children, they didn’t grow into adults either.
Yes, I Replaced the Portico Columns with Colossal Pencils in Preparation for the First Day of School Photoshoot
I’ve got my iPhone ready to snap the most insane pictures of my kids, holding a blackboard with facts scrawled in elaborate chalk calligraphy.
List: 17 Keepsakes from My Parents’ Basement That They Are “Hanging On To” Because They “Might Want” This Stuff “Some Day”
Two Boston brand faux-wood pencil sharpeners: one electric, one battery-operated, both used solely from the years 2000 to 2004.
I thought the mixed berry would pair well with the mix of emotions I had been feeling since my mom married her long-time boyfriend, Alfonso Matrioni.