Announcing Our New Human
Heather was a total warrior throughout. Every time I saw what she was going through, I was in total awe. Like… Wow. Women are strong.
Tag: Parents
15 Things Your WASP Mother-In-Law and Paris Hilton Have in Common
- They both went to boarding school - They wish people would just calm down about the socioeconomic divide
We Do Not Sit Young Families Under Hulk’s Penis
Some things just can’t be fixed with free waffle fries.
Introducing the Fantasy Card Game, “Mothers: The Maddening”
Players assume the role of tired wizards and cast spells, and summon creatures to do their bidding and help fold laundry.
This Is a Test of the LAST NERVE Emergency Alert System
The alert system will be preceded by two sharp tones — "Hey! HEY!" — followed by "Listen, Buster."
Translations of the Inspirational Quotes Posted on Facebook by Denise, a Snowplow Parent of Two Teenagers
This Maya Angelou quote means "It’s 9:00 AM, and Denise is plotting to become the next head of the PTA."
Quarterback Audibles Around the In-Laws
How can someone from Nebraska not want to talk about football, like, at all?
Sesame Street’s First Cinephile Muppet Is an Attack on Our Nation’s Core Values
After learning that Big Bird’s top four films on Letterboxd were American, Jeremy forced Big Bird to undergo something called “Bergman Boot Camp.”
So Your Mom’s Dating Pete Davidson
Q: Do I have to call Pete Davidson "Dad"? A: No one will ever replace your biological father, but Pete Davidson will be around to keep your mom company.
Broadcast of a Baseball Game Between Dads Checking on a Sound in the Middle of the Night with Baseball Bats and Louisville Slugger Factory Workers Who Test Bats for Quality Assurance
The dads effectively hit everything except the ball causing a lot of property damage while the factory workers could not settle on a bat.
I’m an English Teacher in a Horror Movie, and These Budget Cuts Are Really Starting to Hurt
Their parents, who are never in town, don’t answer my emails, so parent-teacher conferences are as big a joke as life insurance in this town.
Church of the Exquisite Guilt
Pray especially for those of us who have screamed "SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM TRYING TO MEDITATE" at our children.