Parents | Points in Case

Tag: Parents

After living the bore of your nine-to-five stability, you’re ready for some extra, life-long, exciting (did I say “life-long”?) responsibility.

Steven, traveling solo, wants to post an Instagram of his ravioli. But Germany is 6 hours ahead, so he risks his picture bombing if he posts it now.

The main responsibility of any dad in a restaurant is to spout off a consistent stream of comedy gold. So many antics!

I know what you're thinking: how do you think holding another bikini car wash is appropriate when we haven’t cleaned up the blood from the last one?

People tell me I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but that’s not true at all. It was bronze.

Welcome to your life! You’ve been lucky enough to draw the sought after white, middle-class, dual-working parent scenario.

Humorous: Suggest, as a possible place of origin, "Yo momma’s ass." Smile to indicate that you are "just kidding."

Delete all the photos on your social media that indicate you ever had a life before children. Replace them with a solid wall of photos of your kids.

Minilla plods off, leaving Monster Island by himself. Godzilla chokes back his atomic ray as he remembers the first time he laid eyes on him.

Rose* (Human Resources Officer, 1999-Present): He walked into this office on his very first day with that Hot Pocket.