Parents | Page 2 | Points in Case

Tag: Parents

What does your child do for fun? A) Mescaline. B) Sits quietly while parents read NYT Cooking section. C) Derives enjoyment from pleasing others.

What could be more healthy than taking a spelling test while boulders—such as the one that just flattened Senator Constantine—fall from the sky?

Any stick that has touched a rotting carcass or been rotting carcass-adjacent must become part of the permanent collection immediately.

Attain Zen. Zen means knowing if you are smiling and crying at once, you are making a rainbow.

This is my life! I’m not a clown some of the time, Brad, I’m a clown all of the time. So what if the funeral director kicked me out?

I had a feeling this might happen when I laid eyes on you ruthlessly shucking corn over the big bin, your nose ring glinting sharply in the sun.

We speak here of the dowdy. The cotton-poly blend. The bland pastel floral with faux-pearl snaps. Armor worn by everyone from Nanas to Meemaws.

Maybe you should have married into more money because it turns out teaching IS its own job: a 2020 "In-The-Time-of-Coronavirus" jobs list.

Vietnam War Movies That Explain Why Your Father Was Like That / Comedy Blockbusters with Bikini-Clad Women on the Poster

There's no better job out of college than playing in the MLB. Great pay, fame, and most of the time you’re standing around and not doing anything.

Georg Cantor: Although your partner has never said "OCD" out loud, you feel judged while ironing every pair of your toddler's striped Burberry socks.

Persistent Car Salesman: Hi, Jared, it’s me, Buddy (at least that’s the name you call me by). Well… I’ve written a screenplay!