Translations of the Inspirational Quotes Posted on Facebook by Denise, a Snowplow Parent of Two Teenagers
This Maya Angelou quote means "It’s 9:00 AM, and Denise is plotting to become the next head of the PTA."
This Maya Angelou quote means "It’s 9:00 AM, and Denise is plotting to become the next head of the PTA."
How can someone from Nebraska not want to talk about football, like, at all?
After learning that Big Bird’s top four films on Letterboxd were American, Jeremy forced Big Bird to undergo something called “Bergman Boot Camp.”
Q: Do I have to call Pete Davidson "Dad"? A: No one will ever replace your biological father, but Pete Davidson will be around to keep your mom company.
The dads effectively hit everything except the ball causing a lot of property damage while the factory workers could not settle on a bat.
Their parents, who are never in town, don’t answer my emails, so parent-teacher conferences are as big a joke as life insurance in this town.
Pray especially for those of us who have screamed "SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM TRYING TO MEDITATE" at our children.
We appreciate you're probably busy. And trust us, we're normally never this needy in ransoms.
My own spider (Cecil) was like the son I never had. Actually, I have a human son, but he's been quite a disappointment to me.
Did you grow up in a modest house, or the suburbs, or a brownstone, or a symbolically dilapidated mansion?
Things were easier then. Parents were parents, children were children, and unlike today’s children, they didn’t grow into adults either.
I’ve got my iPhone ready to snap the most insane pictures of my kids, holding a blackboard with facts scrawled in elaborate chalk calligraphy.