Parents | Page 4 | Points in Case

Tag: Parents

Not only is the third-person thing annoying, but it ends up sounding like a command. Simon says raise your hand if you want to slap me for that.

That’s me wearing the torn NASA t-shirt on my favorite couch. I uploaded this photo to show I’m a typical 39-year-old living in his Mom’s garage.

There's no living author with a better take on the "excruciating telegram" style of mom text messages.

We know you're eager to get back to inconsistent monthly visits to your 87-year-old father and checking your watch and sighing the entire time.

Concocting a knuckle sandwich is a delicacy in itself, and should be taken with care.

You know, obviously I figured I’d do it at some point, but it always seemed so far away. It was something for when I was older.

The queen travels around the board very fast, knocking over the other pieces, sometimes singing "Let It Go" from Disney’s Frozen.

You should be begging on your hands and knees for help. Pathetic. And deep down, you’re scared.

Uber Parents: Be too readily available, allowing your children to summon you at any hour of the day or night.

'It's online! It's online!' – Frankenstein 'If you start the Webex meeting, he will climb on your lap.' – Field of Dreams

We’re all hurting. Which is why we need to stick together, much like these beautiful hardwood scales and the brass pins they’re fastened with.

Kid: I like your new shirt, Mama! Me: Thanks! Kid: I like how it makes you look like you have a big baby in your belly.