Parents | Page 3 | Points in Case

Tag: Parents

Slow, seamless unboxings / Understated Nextdoor heroics / Horny locals making out to FiveThirtyEight podcast / Vintage SkyMalls

Fatherhood brings out the best in a man. / Stepfatherhood brings gas station flowers.

Nothing says “Don’t sacrifice me!” like breakfast in bed. An omelet and fresh coffee is the perfect way to warm Dad up to the idea of sparing you.

The Bridge on the River Kwai – Your dad thinks you should stand up to your boss at work. You say he’s a fathead, right?

-You failed an interview. Move back a square -You found an unpaid internship. Move forward 3 squares -But you did not get hired. Move back 3 squares

Surprise him by mowing the lawn. Devastate him by ignoring mowing best practices and race around in a pattern as erratic as his spiking heart rate.

As for the accusations of exploiting your children for money, well, times are tough and you need to provide however you can during this uncertainty.

For verification purposes, please tag a public post that was clearly intended to be an embarrassing private message to you from that parent.

Lists of songs to help with the sheltering process: Clearly the goal is to convey the refined but also insider-quirky tastes of the poster.

You have duly earned those A̶’̶s̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶i̶c̶h̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶A̶c̶c̶o̶m̶p̶l̶i̶s̶h̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ P’s, which stand for Probably Above Par.

Wanders outside during period of widespread danger to shout opinions of varying coherence at imperiled bystanders.

Instead of wearing baseball caps, Coach Dylan has all the kids wearing these weird old hats he found at a garage sale.