Ten Little Monkeys, the Psychological Thriller
Mama called the Doctor and the Doctor said, “If this is some sort of prank call, it’s not funny. I’m a busy doctor helping patients with real problems.”
Tag: Parents
Can You Call Back Later, Ma? I’m Whackin’ a Guy Here
Ma, you hear that? The boys say hi. They're blowing kisses too. Joe "Ice Pick" Angelini says thank you for the chicken cacciatore.
I Know This Is Your Summer Hangout, but as Your Father I Think It Would Be Much Better If I Fired up the Grill
I’ve got everything lined up so this grilling experience won’t be sullied by past mistakes. Remember the infamous Frankless Fourth of July?
Pelvic Floor Dilemmas for the Modern American Mom
You’re invited to a three-year-old’s birthday party where parents are—for some inexplicable reason—expected to join their children on the trampoline.
Thanks for Babysitting, We’re So Sorry
You’re very welcome to watch a movie, but little Olivia has chewed the arrow buttons off the remote so it will have to be the Paw Patrol movie.
To the Person Who Gave My Toddler a Noisy Toy for Her Birthday
Thanks to you and the Magical Musical Mat™, every minute of my life is now a beeping, squawking, nonstop honking nightmare.
My Day as an Intern, as Imagined by My Exceedingly Optimistic Parents
12:30 PM, reads the Faberge Egg clock the CFO gifted me for having such a good PSAT score.
We, the Manufacturers of the “Gargantuan Gary” Action Figure, Would like to Extend Our Deepest Condolences
It is beyond comprehension to many of us at Spaz headquarters that our new eighty-foot-tall action figure could be the cause of such an accident.
Ways That I, a Non-Parent, Imagine I Will Someday Discipline My Children
With two kitchen chairs turned backwards facing one another, we’ll both sit down to hash things out.
We Didn’t Work Very Hard on This Elementary School Concert
Come on, these kids only have so much grit before they get completely fatigued.
How to Tell Your Kids the Truth About Bigfoot
Be prepared to answer questions like, “What about all of those blurry photos he left on my phone?”
Every Single Website’s Holiday Gift Guide for Dad
A profoundly boring pair of plaid PJs ($499.78)