He loves late-night, steamy phone calls when I’m home alone. I always tell him it’s such a boomer move but he just loves hearing my voice!
Honestly, if it wasn’t good in the "Bourne" movies, who thought shaky cam would be good to use over my third-grade musical?
I will complain about my shin splints roughly four times a day. I know my chiropractor will already be a zombie by that point (R.I.P. Dr. Gordon).
Abrasions and trace amounts of stucco on knuckles indicate he had punched a wall in the last 8 hours.
Now would be a good time to use the restroom. You should also gather your family and pets and turn off any stove burners.
When Tom first started playing, there were no 5th downs or 100-yard field goals. And every game took place on Earth, where gravity was a huge factor.
It’s funny if you sync up scenes of Danny riding his tricycle with the theme song from Naked Gun.
Looking down and seeing my legs dangling over a 400-foot drop has helped me to put certain decisions I’ve made about my life into focus.
Their parents, who are never in town, don’t answer my emails, so parent-teacher conferences are as big a joke as life insurance in this town.
When a tortuous, claustrophobic death rears its ugly head, winners HUSTLE HARDER.
The blurry apparition behind me in the last shot is definitely not the ghost of my great x 10 grandfather, just a smudge on my camera.
I'm not gonna be a cop about booze or weed or the occasional mysterious disappearance of a fellow resident.